Morro Bay Police Logs

• April 12: Police contacted a suspicious woman, 50, at 5 p.m. in the 200 block of Morro Bay Blvd. The legless lass was stoned off her a**, and in possession of an illegal substance. She was cited and released to go replenish her stash. In a related matter, a man, 62, who was with her was nicked for alleged possession of drugs and paraphernalia, he too was handed a piece of paper and released.
• April 12: At 8 a.m. police towed off an apparently abandoned car parked on the sidewalk at Yerba Buena and Hwy 1. At 11:42 in the 2600 block of Main they bagged another scofflaw’s car for expired tags.
• April 12: Police responded at 6:15 a.m. to Spencer’s Market for a vandalism report, as the lunatics again try to run the asylum.
• April 11: Police stopped a suspicious car at 9:39 p.m. in the 900 block of MBB. The 64-year-old human male was nicked for suspicion of driving skulled.
• April 11: Police responded at 4:38 p.m. to a report of people arguing near the entrance to State Park Road. Cooler heads apparently prevailed, aided no doubt by a badge and gun.
• April 11: Someone boosted a car from the 2600 block of Elm Ct.
• April 10: Police responded to the 1000 block of Main at 9:06 p.m. for somethin’ ya don’t see every day — extortion. Police made note of the matter.
• April 9: Police contacted a suspicious man, 40, in the 200 block of Pacific, who was either out late or up early at 6:30 a.m. The apparent early owl or (night bird?) had a warrant. He was issued a new court date to miss.
• April 8: At 8:20 p.m. police stopped another suspicious car at Morro and MBB. The driver, 48, had a warrant and was cited and released to go forth and sin no more.
• April 7: Police stopped a suspicious car at 7:40 p.m. in the 1000 block of Quintana. The woman driver, 48, was arrested for suspicion of driving baked.
• April 7: Police contacted an apparent nillionaire at 6:48 p.m. in the 700 block of Harbor. The apparently pickled petunia, 57, was arrested for suspicion of being schnuckered in public. She was taken via ambulance to be evaluated and police confiscated her belongings for safekeeping.
• April 7: Someone on Driftwood turned in cordless power tools he or she found.
• April 7: At 11:55 a.m. police responded to the City Park bus stop on Harbor for an apparently unruly passenger. Logs indicated a 42-year-old choleric scamboogah was arrested for suspicion of making death threats at the bus driver and police officers. The hot head chilled in the cooler.
• April 6: A citizen in the 3400 block of Main said someone stole the license plate off his boat trailer, proving once again that people will steal anything.
• April 5: An apparent jewel thief struck in the 2800 block of Hemlock. No word on the baubles pilfered.
• April 5: Someone in the 900 block of Main reported a missing person, apparently finished with sheltering at home.
• April 5: Police responded at 12:17 p.m. to the 200 block of Harbor, at the Pleasant Inn. A man and a woman were found deceased in Room 5. No foul play was suspected.
• April 5: A man told police that some scalawag stole his wallet out of his locked vehicle near Hwy 1 and Yerba Buena.
• April 4: Police contacted a suspicious man at 6:46 p.m. in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated he was arrested for suspicion of possessing a crack pipe and methamphetamine and the mope on dope went to the hoosegow.
• April 4: A citizen in the 1700 block of Main said some hoodlum stole his or her bike. And on April 1, a bike was stolen out of the 800 block of Napa.
• April 3: At 3:42 a.m. an officer dispatched an injured animal on Hwy 1 at Toro Creek Road, no doubt another victim of the highway to hell.
• April 2: A citizen turned in a wallet he or she found on the ground at Radcliff and Bolton.
• April 2: Police responded at 1:55 a.m. to a turnout along Hwy 1 by Toro Creek Road where a man said three “unknown” assailants had driven him there, then beat and abandoned him in a parking lot at Dog Beach. Police are investigating the rather bizarre case.
• April 1: Some apparent tool stole a power tool from a citizen in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd.
• April 1: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 2:50 p.m. in the 1800 block of Main. Logs indicated the wheelman, 63, was nabbed for suspicion of driving schmammered.
• April 1: Police responded at 11:30 a.m. to a reported assault in the 800 block of Morro. Logs indicated they contacted a 61-year-old man whom they arrested for suspicion of possession of meth and a crack pipe; and another skunk, 62, got nicked for allegedly being under the influence of drugs, which explains a lot.
• March 31: Someone left a set of keys outside the police station, no doubt counting on police to unlock the mystery.
• March 30: Police were called at 9:40 p.m. to a disturbance in the 700 block of Morro. Logs indicated they encountered a kootered fellow, 41, who got nicked for being a tad faded in public.
• March 30: Police responded at 9:06 p.m. to a disturbance in the 1100 block of Morro. Logs indicated they arrested a 51-year-old apparent battleaxe for suspicion of inflicting corporal injury on a spouse or cohabitant. She checked into the Parkinson Plaza.
• March 30: City workers at the City’s corp yard gave police three bikes they’d found stored in a storage pod. They have no idea how long the bikes have been there. Police don’t know how or when they got there, nor what case they might be from.
• March 30: A citizen gave police a baggie of methamphetamine he or she found at Rite Aid, no doubt dropped by some junkie, but don’t fret, there’s no doubt more where that came from.
• March 29: Police responded at 4:47 p.m. to the 300 block of Embarcadero for a report of vandalism to City owned property, a hanging offense in these here parts.
• March 29: Police responded at 10:17 a.m. to the 700 block of Pacific for a reported assault. Logs indicated they decided it was mutual combat and declared a draw.
• March 26: A citizen in the 900 block of Balboa reported being ripped off. Police have no clues.
• March 25: A citizen in the 500 block of Atascadero Road reported a petty theft. A citizen in the 600 block of Elena said his unlocked vehicle was ransacked, but they apparently didn’t find anything worth stealing.
• March 24: Police made note of a possible fraud case in the 3100 block of Main. Logs indicated a known suspect, “attempted to facilitate acceptance of funds sent in error through VENMO.” There was no loss reported, so no harm, no foul?
• March 24: At 1:50 a.m. police paid a visit on an old friend with two warrants in the 800 block of Piney, and his night got pipped at the post.
• March 23: Police responded at 5:46 p.m. to a report of a suicidal subject on Elm Avenue.