• Aug. 2: Police contacted a suspicious woman, 32, at 4:30 p.m. in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated the saucy lass was allegedly stuck like chuck and about to get into her car and drive schwacked.
• Aug. 2: Police responded at 4:15 p.m. to a domestic disturbance in the 1100 block of Embarcadero. The Bickersons chilled out without the need of a hoosegow timeout.
• Aug. 2: Someone in the 1200 block of Embarcadero said his or her wallet was stolen along with a bag of other stuff.
• Aug. 2: Police stopped a suspicious car at noon at Beach and Morro. Logs indicated the driver, 37, was “knowingly driving on a suspended license.” The scofflaw’s mother responded to the scene to pick up his car and he was cited and released, no doubt soon to have a bench warrant.
• Aug. 1: Police contacted a suspicious man at 7:15 p.m. in the 500 block of Shasta. Logs indicated the 44-year-old interloper was cited and released for suspicion of trespassing.
• Aug. 1: Police responded at 12:31 p.m. to Albertsons for a report of someone making threats. Logs indicated they contacted a 44-year-old apparent pest and cited him for suspicion of trespassing, with a warning to “stay away from Albertson’s.”
• Aug. 1: Police responded at 6:17 a.m. to the 2600 block of Main where they arrested a juvenile boy for allegedly leaving the scene of an accident that he caused because he was fit-shaced. Logs indicated police took the liquored up lad to the hospital to be checked out for injuries and then off to kiddie jail he went.
• July 31: Police contacted a suspicious woman, 33, at 9:30 p.m. in the 800 block of Piney Way. Logs indicated the dingus was arrested for suspicion of “being under the influence of a controlled substance, being in possession of a controlled substance/paraphernalia, and possession of a bladed weapon.”
• July 31: Police responded to the beach off Atascadero Road to assist County Mental Health by taking a juvenile boy to French Hospital for a “mental evaluation,” also called a 72-hour timeout.
• July 31: Police contacted a suspicious man at 4:23 p.m. at Main and Rennel. Logs indicated the apparently disgruntled fellow, 48, was arrested for suspicion of resisting arrest and being high on speed, which explains a lot.
• July 31: Some apparent swamp donkey stole an Estero Bay News rack from Foster Freeze in the 800 block of Piney Way, which ought to be a hanging offense.
• July 31: Police responded at 7:43 a.m. to a domestic disturbance in the 400 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated a 28-year-old piojo was arrested for suspicion of domestic battery.
• July 31: Police contacted a suspicious man at 7:10 a.m. in the 800 block of Quintana. The 32-year-old fellow had a warrant out of Ventura County was checked into the iron bar hotel to await a no doubt happy homecoming.
• July 30: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at noon in the 2800 block of Main. A 41-year-old woman was arrested for suspicion of driving stoned on go-fast powder, possessing meth and paraphernalia.
• July 30: Police responded at 6:35 a.m. to the 1500 block of Main where a citizen reported a case of suspected extortion and apparent squatting on private property.
• July 29: Police responded at 2 p.m. to a fight inside a residence in the 300 block of Sequoia. Police apparently broke up the melee and declared a draw.
• July 29: Some graffidiot left his mark in the 400 block of Morro Bay Blvd.
• July 29: Police responded at 1:33 a.m. to a disturbance in the 500 block of Morro. Logs indicated a 51-year-old raucous fellow was making folks uncomfortable outside the Comfort Inn.
• July 28: Police responded to a reported domestic dispute at 7:30 p.m. in the 400 block of LaJolla. Logs indicated it wasn’t a domestic abuse situation but rather a “dispute over property.”
• July 28: Police were notified of suspected case of child abuse in the 2000 block of Juniper.
• July 28: Some scoundrel stole a bicycle from the 500 block of Quintana. Ironically, the day before, a bicycle was found abandoned in the 200 block of Beach, because the Lord giveth and then taketh away.
• July 27: A citizen in the 2800 block of Hemlock told police he or she was scammed out of $900 worth of gift cards.
• July 27: Police responded to the 1000 block of La Tunas where a citizen reported an unauthorized use of his or her credit card. Police believe it may be related to a recent case when skimmers were discovered on several gas pumps at the Sinclair Gas Station.
• July 27: A citizen in the 200 block of Harbor reported being ripped off by some chiseling fraudster.
• July 26: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 5:11 p.m. at Beach and Main. Logs indicated the She Devil, 39, was nicked for suspicion of resisting arrest and steaming on drugs, her second run-in in as many days.
On July 25 at 5:54 p.m. in the 300 block of Surf, the same Squit was nipped for being zig-zagged in public, rating about a six on the crazy cat lady scale.
• July 26: Police towed some apparently offensive utility trailers from the 1000 and 900 blocks of Quintana for sitting in one place too long.
• July 26: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 1:36 p.m. in the 2800 block of Main. The 55-year-old scofflaw had a warrant out of Kings County, he was of course cited and released, as the wheels of the bus go round and round…
• July 26: Someone reported a car crash at 12:23 p.m. in the 300 block of Embarcadero. No word on the carnage.
• July 26: A citizen in the 400 block of Morro Bay Blvd. reported losing something apparently not worth listing in logs; and another poor citizen in the 300 block of MBB reported fraud and a scam.
• July 25: Police and firefighters responded at 7:33 p.m. to Morro Bay Golf Course where a 22-year-old woman was injured in a golf cart accident, which sounds about par for the course.
• July 25: MBPD went to San Luis Obispo with their drone, apparently to spy on an angry mob of peaceful protesters marching through Downtown.
• July 25: Police went to the City lifeguard tower on the beach at Morro Rock where graffidiots apparently left their mark.
• July 24: Police responded at 3 p.m. to City Park on Harbor Street for an unruly woman. Logs indicated they arrested some raucous hellcat, 33, for suspicion of getting’ jiggy where the tourists can see. She got booked.
• July 23: Police responded at 9:17 p.m. to a business in the 1100 block of Embarcadero, where they said a customer stole a bag full of cash.
• July 23: Police responded to the 400 block of Hill where a citizen reported getting annoying texts and calls, and if they figure out how to make it stop, please share that with everyone.
• July 23: Police responded at 4:49 p.m. to the Sinclair gas station at the Roundabout when a County weights & measures inspector found a bunch of credit card skimmers on their gas pumps.
• July 23: Police responded to a disturbance at 3:11 p.m. in the 2700 block of Dogwood. A 36-year-old woman was nicked for violating a stay-the-hell-away order, and cooled her jets in the cooler.
• July 23: Police responded at 12:30 p.m. to the 700 block of Quintana where someone said his or her electric bicycle was stolen, and will no doubt be abandoned, soon as the juice runs out.
• July 22: Someone found a GoPro camera with a telescoping handle somewhere in Cayucos and gave it to MBPD to unlock the mystery.
• July 22: Police contacted a suspicious man at 1:16 p.m. in the 1000 block of Kennedy Way. The 42-year-old fellow was nicked for suspicion of being stinky on drugs and possessing paraphernalia, his stash no doubt hidden where the sun don’t shine and the cops won’t search.
• July 22: Police responded to the 400 block of Pacific for a credit card fraud report. The victim was defrauded of $3,331.43, approximately.
• July 22: Police responded to a domestic disturbance at 9 a.m. in the 900 block of Marina. Logs indicated they arrested a 25-year-old louse for suspicion of abuse of his spouse.
• July 21: The Coroner’s Office was called out at 4:55 p.m. to the 400 block of LaJolla St., and you know that can’t be good.
• July 21: At 1:18 p.m. police responded to a disturbance in the 1000 block of Front St. A 44-year-old woman was arrested for suspicion of being zonked on dope.
• July 20: A citizen in the 300 block of Jamaica reported falling victim to a phone scam. No word on how much the scamboogah took them for.
• July 20: Police responded at 8 a.m. to a home in the 100 block of Main where some scoundrel broke into a locked house. No word on what they found worth stealing.