• Dec. 27: Police responded to a motel in the 900 block of Morro Ave., for a report of theft, trespassing and defrauding an innkeeper, the perils of tourism realized.
• Dec. 27: At 8:04 a.m. police took a report of a hit-n-split in the 300 block of Dunes.
• Dec. 27: Someone in the 3100 block of Panorama reported their trailer was stolen. When police recovered it, there were of course items missing.
• Dec. 26: Police contacted a suspicious man at 3:42 a.m. — when all who venture forth are suspicious — in the 1000 block of Main. Logs indicated they cited the night owl for allegedly possessing a switchblade knife.
• Dec. 25: Police responded to a disturbance at 9 p.m. in the 100 block of Tahiti. A 36-year-old man was arrested for being crapulous in public.
• Dec. 25: Police responded at 4 p.m. to a disturbance in the 400 block of Mindoro. A 47-year-old man allegedly caused physical harm to a child and a complaint was filed with the District Attorney.
• Dec. 25: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 3:22 a.m. in the 700 block of Harbor. Logs indicated a 29-year-old Bakersfield man was arrested for two warrants and a female companion, 33 of Bakersfield, was arrested for suspicion of drug possession and being UTI. Another case of arrive on vacation — leave on probation.
• Dec. 24: At 10:49 p.m. police got a report of a possible drunk driver on Hwy 1 at Gilardi Rd. Logs indicated they spotted the swerving vehicle and stopped it. The 62-year-old driver was nicked for driving in a fog, taken to the hospital for a bloodletting, and then he went to the hoosegow.
• Dec. 24: Police got a report about an out-of-state temporary restraining order being violated via email.
• Dec. 21: During a mail theft operation, logs indicated police recovered mail stolen from their victim plus other items suspected of being stolen, adding another name to their list of usual suspects.
• Dec. 24: Police and fire investigators took a report of suspected arson to a residence in the 600 block of Bella Vista.
• Dec. 23: Police in the 600 block of Driftwood arrested a 23-year-old woman for suspicion of illegally possessing Seroquel without a prescription in violation of the master criminal’s probation terms.
• Dec. 23: Police nabbed a 26-year-old woman for alleged credit card fraud. She was cited and released, no doubt part of the unofficial, catch-and-release job security program.
• Dec. 23: Police responded to a burglary at Albertson’s Market. Some industrious thief drilled out the locks and stole the money out of a filtered drinking water dispenser.
• Dec. 23: Police responded to a burglary in the 600 block of Main at The Skin Shop. No word on how much was peeled off.
• Dec. 23: Police responded to a domestic disturbance at 1:33 a.m. in the 3200 block of Main. A 33-year-old louse was arrested for suspicion of domestic violence and tossed into the dungeon.
• Dec. 22: Police responded to the 900 block of Piney Way to see a 46-year-old apparent pyro regarding a cooking fire started in the bushes of Willow Camp Creek behind Burger King on Quintana Road, which the fire department put out. At the same time they nipped a 50-year-old man for a drug-related warrant.
• Dec. 21: Police stopped a vehicle at 10 p.m. in the 1600 block of Main after it reportedly blew through a stop sign. The 54-year-old driver was nailed for suspicion of driving hammered.
• Dec. 21: A citizen in the 2600 block of Elm said his or her bike was stolen.
• Dec. 20: Police responded at 12:08 p.m. to a traffic collision in the 2800 block of Alder. No gruesome details were available.
• Dec. 20: Police arrested a 33-year-old apparent hothead at 1:07 a.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero for suspicion of felony vandalism and domestic battery.
• Dec. 19: At 9:15 p.m. at San Joaquin and Alder police cited and released a 25-year old man who had four bench warrants. The next day at 11 a.m. they stopped him on Quintana at Las Tunas for driving on a suspended license, a bit like netting fish in a barrel.
• Dec. 19: Police responded to another hairy crack-up at 2:15 p.m. in the 300 block of Quintana. No injuries reported.
• Dec. 18: Police took a report of attempted theft in the 300 block of Quintana Pl., at the “Hey Culligan Man!” store.
• Dec. 18: A traffic crash occurred at 8 a.m. in the 500 block of Quintana.
• Dec. 17: At 10:22 p.m. police cited another popular fellow, 57, at Lila Keiser Park with two bench warrants.
• Dec. 17: Police responded at 5:41 p.m. to quash a domestic disturbance in the 300 block of Fairview.
• Dec. 17: At 4 p.m. police responded to referee an uncivil dispute in the 2000 block of Main.
• Dec. 17: A 36-year-old woman apparently went to the police station to see about a felony and a misdemeanor warrant. She was cited and released with a sincere promise to appear, next time.
• Dec. 16: Police stopped a woman driving on Hill Street and cited her for knowingly driving on a suspended license, normally good for 10 days in the cooler.
• Dec. 16: Police took a report from Sacramento P.D. regarding a report they took of a rape and false imprisonment that occurred in Morro Bay sometime in late October to early November.
• Dec. 16: Police documented a traffic collision at 4:15 a.m. in the 1700 block of Main. No arrests were made.
• Dec. 15: At 10:30 p.m. police responded to the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., for a fellow apparently going wild. Logs indicated they committed the man to a 72-hour timeout with County Mental Health.
• Dec. 15: Police responded at 5:30 p.m. to the 900 block of Ridgeway for a report of a man who’d sent “inappropriate” text messages to an “un-wanting recipient.” The clown said it was all just a joke; police were not amused.
• Dec. 15: Police responded to the Fishermen’s Gear Storage facility by Morro Creek where a guy said some scalawag cut off the lock to his unit and stole $680 worth of fishing gear. Police have no clues in the case.
• Dec. 14: Police contacted a suspicious man at 9:42 p.m. in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. The 26-year-old doper allegedly had drugs and paraphernalia on him and was cited and released to go replenish his stash.
• Dec. 14: A parks worker reportedly found a clear, Zip-lock baggie filled with Xanax pills laying on the bleachers at Lila Keiser Park.
• Dec. 14: Police took a report of a bicycle stolen off a front porch in the 2300 block of Main.
• Dec. 13: Police contacted a regular customer running amok at 2:10 p.m. at City Park. The 58-year-old woman was nicked for suspicion of getting tiltered in public.
• Dec. 13: Police contacted a motley pair of knaves at 12:13 p.m. at Lila Keiser Park. Both had warrants and were cited and released continuing the insanity of the LE carousel. The day before at 8 p.m., a woman, 46, had three bench warrants and was issued her fourth. The morning of the 12th, they cited three other miscreants, 52, 26, and 36 all with bench warrants in the newly dubbed — Scofflaw Park.
• Dec. 13: Police responded at 9 a.m. to a reported vandalism in the 900 block of Morro. A 53-year-old man was arrested for suspicion of vandalism, petty theft, and trespassing “related to a crime occurring at a local hotel.”
• Dec. 12: A citizen in the 2200 block of Emerald Circle said letters and packages were stolen by some apparent porch pirate.
• Dec. 12: Police contacted at 9:21 a.m. a woman, 37, in the 2400 block of Main who had four bench warrants, and now soon to be five.
• Dec. 11: Police contacted a suspicious subject out at the suspect time of 3 a.m. near the beach on Atascadero Road. The 27-year-old model citizen was cited and released for suspicion of possessing drugs and paraphernalia.
• Dec. 10: Police contacted a parolee at 7:21 p.m. in the 800 block of Napa. Logs indicated the 38-year-old fellow was arrested for suspicion of being high on drugs, possession of heroin and an unspecified weapon. While police were on scene, a 51-year-old man rode up on a bicycle with no bike light and got stopped. The poor schmuck was allegedly also high on drugs and was arrested.
• Dec. 10: Police contacted a suspicious man at 4 a.m. at Coleman Drive and Embarcadero. The 47-year-old was arrested for suspicion of possessing paraphernalia, his stash no doubt gone up in smoke.
• Dec. 9: Police responded at 9:11 p.m. to a disturbance in the 2600 block of Main. A 28-year-old man was allegedly drunk and as a result suffered intoxifornication.
• Dec. 9: Police responded at 9:15 a.m. to the 900 block of Piney Way where some sinner tried to break into St. Timothy’s Catholic Church.
• Dec. 9: At 2:49 a.m. at Albertson’s on Quintana, police arrested a 24-year-old woman for suspicion of possessing methamphetamine and hypodermic needles. She was injected into County Jail.
• Dec. 9: An alarm sounded at 2:17 a.m. at a business in the 500 block of Quintana, apparently thwarting an attempted burglary.
• Dec. 8: Two people reported that their cars were broken into while parked at Morro Rock; the thieves taking personal items and a woman’s purse, as the tourist tax gets levied once again.
• Dec. 2: Police responded at 1 p.m. to the 2600 block of Ironwood for a Morro Bay felony — a 41-year-old woman was refusing to pay for a Domino’s Pizza.
• Dec. 8: Police responded to a disturbance at 10:49 a.m. in the 200 block of Harbor at the Bay View Lodge. A 21-year-old rookie was nicked for suspicion of being lubricated in public.
• Dec. 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 2:17 a.m. that reportedly was speeding and blew through a stop sign at Atascadero Road and Main. The driver, a parolee, was arrested for suspicion of being schwacked on drugs. A woman passenger was arrested for possessing alleged counterfeit checks, fraud, possessing heroin and drug paraphernalia.
• Dec. 7: Police responded at 7 p.m. to a restaurant in the 500 block of MBB where some transient zhlub was inside yelling his fool head off. The raucous fellow, 59, was arrested for suspicion of disturbing the peace and belting the grape in public.
• Dec. 6: Someone reported a disturbing woman raising Caine at 12:30 p.m. in the 700 block of Moro Bay Blvd. The 58-year-old with a bell on every tooth was nicked for being drunk in public. It was her second incident in two days, as at 1:40 p.m. on the 5th she was contacted at City Park in the company of a guy wanted for an assault. She had two bench warrants and was cited and released back into the wilds.
• Dec. 6: Police got a report at 11:49 a.m. from the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., of “children arguing and fighting, as well as posting offensive statements through social media,” or it’s Saturday in Millennialville.
• Dec. 5: Police contacted a 46-year-old scofflaw at Albertson’s Market who had a pair of warrants out of Humboldt County. He was issued his future third warrant and released.
• Dec. 5: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:30 p.m. at Main and Quintana. Logs indicated the 67-year-old woman driver was arrested on suspicion of possession of nitrous oxide and driving lifted.
• Dec. 3: Police contacted a suspicious fellow, 28, at 4:40 p.m. in City Park. He got popped for suspicion of being high on drugs and possession.
• Dec. 3: At 1 p.m. eagle-eyed police stopped a suspicious vehicle in Scofflaw Park, with a registration that expired 18 months ago. They towed away the rolling menace. Earlier at the park, they contacted a 44-year-old woman who had two warrants, gave her a third and went back on the hunt.
• Dec. 3: There was a minor fender-bender at 5 p.m. in the 300 block of Atascadero Rd.
• Dec. 2: Two cars collided at 5:09 p.m. at Dunes and Main. There were no injuries, however, a 20-year-old man was arrested for alleged reckless driving.