• Oct. 31: Police contacted a suspicious man at 7:33 p.m. in the 1100 block of Embarcadero. The scofflaw, 49, had two bench warrants out of San Berdoo and was cited and released, no doubt because he’s so dependable.
• Oct. 31: Police responded at 5:15 p.m. to Lila Keiser park where they arrested a 52-year-old woman and apparent scam artist for fraudulent use of a credit card.
• Oct. 31: Police responded to the docks in the 1200 block of Embarcadero where someone on the fishing vessel Avenger had gone to meet Davey Jones.
• Oct. 31: There was a minor traffic collision at 9:22 a.m. at Ironwood and Paula. No juicy details were provided.
• Oct. 30: Police rolled at 6:17 p.m. to a disturbance in the 1000 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated a 51-year-old twisted sister was nicked for getting fogged in public.
• Oct. 29: Police stopped a vehicle out long past curfew at 11:38 p.m. for sailing through a stop sign, even as it was no doubt the only car on the road. The foolish driver, 39, was nabbed for suspicion of driving schnockered, blowing a .16 on the butt-toast scale.
• Oct. 29: Petty theft was committed by some thievin’ bilge rat in the 2600 block of Ironwood.
• Oct. 29: Police responded at 3:30 p.m. to the 600 block of Embarcadero to document someone slipping and falling into a possible lawsuit.
• Oct. 29: At 1:15 p.m. in the 800 block of Embarcadero police arrested a 39-year-old bent fellow for suspicion of getting squiggly in public and “obstructing an officer in the course of his duties,” that being to arrest his sorry self.
• Oct. 29: A 51-year-old woman in the 400 block of Quintana said her boyfriend pushed her to the ground and “forcefully stole her purse,” and then drove off. Police are investigating ol’ Prince Charming.
• Oct. 29: Police contacted a regular customer at the Lila Keiser Park and homeless shelter. The 36-year-old master criminal had a felony warrant and was sent to the loving arms of Uncle Ian at the County Jail.
• Oct. 29: Police contacted a woman, 49, at 1 a.m. in the 1500 block of Main and nicked her for several outstanding warrants.
• Oct. 28: Citizens in the 300 block of Fresno reported a missing autistic juvenile boy at 7:30 p.m. Logs indicated he was located and returned home.
•Oct. 27: Police responded at 10:22 p.m. to a disturbance in the 900 block of Piney Way. They arrested a 37-year-old apparently raucous fellow for public inebriation and booked him into the County re-education center.
• Oct. 27: A woman on Quintana Road told police her husband punched her in the face numerous times and then slammed her head into a wall. Police documented the incident.
• Oct. 27: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:30 p.m. at Morro Rock. The 41-year-old driver was hit with a trifecta — suspicion of DUI, a suspended license, and violating a stay-the-hell-away order.
• Oct. 27: A 55-year-old man walks into the police station where he was arrested for being a parolee at large with a felony arrest warrant.
• Oct. 26: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:06 p.m. in the 200 block of Beach. Logs indicated the woman driver was cited for allegedly furnishing alcohol to a minor. A presumably underage girl was cited for possession of hooch, and a male passenger was arrested for suspicion of drunk in public, contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile delinquent and a warrant out of Madera County, another case of arrive on vacation and leave on probation.
• Oct. 26: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:07 p.m. on Hwy 1 at Atascadero Road. The driver, 54 of Morro Bay was cited for driving on a suspended, which pre-COVID was good for about 10 days in the hoosegow.
• Oct. 25: At 8:30 p.m. police stopped a vehicle in the 800 block of Main for some no doubt trumped up code violation. Logs indicated the driver, 21, was popped for suspicion of driving on a toot.
• Oct. 25: Someone found a wallet on the beach at Azure Dunes.
• Oct. 25: Police were called to the 900 block of Main where some bent fellow was causing a ruckus. Logs indicated police caught up to the dingus, 67, in the 500 block of MBB and he chilled in the cooler.
• Oct. 25: Police contacted a suspicious man at 1:30 p.m. in the 500 block of Monterey and arrested him for resisting arrest and suspicion of a hit-n-split.
• Oct. 24: Someone found two abandoned bicycles at Bayshore Bluffs Park.
• Oct. 24: Police contacted a pair of apparently suspicious women at 3:50 p.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero. A 37-year-old all star was nicked for suspicion of possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of drugs, and her 48-year-old apparent cohort was arrested for suspicion of having paraphernalia, possessing burglar tools and possession of drugs, showing the dangers of saving a little for later on.
• Oct. 24: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 2:30 p.m. in City Park on Harbor. She was tossed to the gaol for suspicion of getting stuck like chuck where the tourists can see.
• Oct. 23: Police responded at 8:25 p.m. to the launch ramp for a report of someone throwing junk into the bay. Logs indicated the report led to the location of a missing person, but apparently not to a littering charge.
• Oct. 23: Police got a report at 11:17 a.m. of a disturbance in the Morro Rock parking lot. Logs indicated they arrested a 32-year-old apparently cranky fellow for suspicion of being honked in public.
• Oct. 22: At 5:45 p.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero, police contacted a 41-year-old suspicious dude and cited him for alleged possession of drug paraphernalia, his stash apparently already shot.
• Oct. 22: Someone stole a purse out of a junk, uh… make that “collectibles” business in the 200 block of Morro Bay Blvd.
• Oct. 22: Someone burglarized a car parked in the 1200 block of Embarcadero, as the tourist tax gets levied on folks camping in the City’s bayside Shang-rah-la.
• Oct. 22: Police responded to a senior home on Teresa Drive where an 82-year old dementia patient reportedly “slapped two elderly residents.”
• Oct. 21: Police responded at 4:15 p.m. to a car crash at Main and the Boulevard, no doubt the most excitement Downtown in some time.
• Oct. 21: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle that committed “multiple traffic violations” at 9:52 a.m. in the 1100 block of Embarcadero. According to logs, the woman driver, 51, was arrested for suspicion of possessing paraphernalia, a forged car registration, possessing a switchblade, and driving on a suspended license. When searching the car, police allegedly found suspected stolen property that reportedly connects her to a recent burglary. She was tossed into the pokey.
• Oct. 21: Police are investigating a suspected case of “inappropriate touching in the workplace.”
• Oct. 21: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at the highly suspect hour of 1:23 a.m. on Hwy 1 at Morro Bay Blvd. The 32-year-old fellow was nicked for suspicion of driving half cut behind the wheel on hooch and hooter.
• Oct. 20: Police towed a car from the 400 block of Anchor because the owner hadn’t given the DMV a pound of flesh in over 6 months.
• Oct. 20: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:47 a.m. at Quintana and South Bay. Logs indicated the 46-year-old woman driver was fitted with steel bracelets for driving on a suspended license, while cranked up too, plus she had a warrant on a prior possession of meth case.
• Oct. 19: Police are investigating a car burglary in the 100 block of Atascadero Road.
• Oct. 19: Police contacted a suspicious chap at 3:30 p.m. at Lila Keiser Park. The man, 28, was arrested for suspicion of possessing drugs and paraphernalia and was taken to the police station, cited and released to no doubt go get high again.