Morro Bay Police Blotter 7-29-2021

• July 18: Police caught up to a suspicious woman and fellow at 5:30 p.m. in the 1300 block of Main. Logs indicated the lady, 45, was nicked for suspicion of possessing drug paraphernalia, her stash apparently already up in smoke. The man, 29, was taken to the hoosegow for allegedly being tore up from the floor up. It was this shining example’s second clash with Johnny Law in the same day, as at 2:34 a.m. (July 18) he was arrested for suspicion of being under the influence (of drugs) and possession of said drugs. His compadre, 38, had two bench warrants but he was simply given a third disappearance ticket and released, ‘cause the road goes on forever and the party never ends.
• July 18: A citizen in the 1100 block of Market called 9-1-1 to report a strange bicycle was trespassing on his property. Police stormed the castle and took away the renegade.
• July 18: Police responded at 11 a.m. to a disturbance in the 2600 block of Coral. Logs indicated a 57-year-old ruffian was arrested for suspicion of exhibiting an undisclosed deadly weapon, possession of drugs, drug paraphernalia and “possession of a stun gun while addicted to a narcotic,” which pretty much says it all.
• July 17: Police contacted a tipsy fellow at 9:30 p.m. at Morro Bay Boulevard and Hwy 1 and arrested the apparent swagman, 69, who chilled in the cooler for suspicion of being stoned on drugs.
• July 17: Police stopped a vehicle at 6:50 p.m. in the 2900 block of Elm and arrested a 45-year-old bloomin’ dingus for suspicion of drunk driving after a hit-n-split crash.
• July 17: Police contacted a swizzle stick at 12:45 a.m. in the 400 block of Shasta. Logs indicated the 34-year-old borracho was arrested for suspicion of being schwacked in public.
• July 16: Police documented a car crash on South Bay Boulevard for the lawsuit to follow.
• July 16: Police reported that a car parked too long in the 300 block of Surf was given a 72-hour, move-it or lose-it ticket on July 12, and when they came back on the 26th, the interloper was deported from the neighborhood.
• July 16: Police sent a disturbed 62-year-old man to French Hospital for a 72-hour timeout.
• July 15: Police documented a slip and fall with injury in the 200 block of MBB, for when the claim gets filed against the City.
• July 15: Police were called at 5:55 p.m. to Giovanni’s Fish Market and Galley in the 1000 block of Front St., after some master criminal ran off with their tip jar, a full-sized beer pitcher.
The woman and her fellow scamboogahs — all from Tulare — were tracked the next day to a restaurant in San Simeon where police arrested the woman alleged thief, 21, for suspicion of burglary and being stoned on drugs.
Two men tried to fugitate from police down the beach but were quickly captured after one was seen allegedly trying to throw drugs into the sea but police were reportedly able to retrieve the stash. Those ninnies were nicked for the drugs and a fourth member of the gang that couldn’t shoot straight committed no crimes and wasn’t arrested.
• July 15: Police contacted a suspicious man at the suspect time of 2:06 a.m. at Bernardo and MBB and cited and released the apparent pistolero for possession of a loaded firearm.
• July 14: Police contacted a much too familiar face at 9:30 p.m. at Quintana Place and Main. The 29-year-old scofflaw had three bench warrants and police just gave him a fourth one and let him go (he had two run-ins with police on July 18, see above).
• July 14: A citizen came to the police station to report a Craig’s List rental scam, and you thought you’d found an affordable apartment…
• July 14: Someone turned in a bunch of ammo to police to destroy, exercising his or her Second Amendment Rights not to bare arms.
• July 14: Police responded to the 700 block of Quintana Pl., to arrest a 56-year-old boorish fellow for allegedly making criminal threats against someone in the 900 block of MBB.
• July 14: Police arrested a 60-year-old local yokel at 8:08 a.m. in the 700 block of MBB on suspicion of felony evading arrest, obstructing a peace officer, carrying a concealed dirk or dagger and “operating a motor vehicle in unsafe conditions.”
• July 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:30 p.m. at Monterey and Dunes. Logs indicated the driver, 24, was nicked for suspicion of driving ripped but was let off easy with a citation.
• July 13: Someone reported a car crack-up at 2:21 p.m. at Main and Pacific, where the citizens once dreamed of a 4-way stop, but alas, the bureaucracy overrode the will of the people, again.
• July 13: Police contacted a model citizen, 30, at 9 a.m. at the police station who had a failure to appear warrant and was issued another citation and released back into the wild.
• July 12: Someone turned in a cell phone they found at Morro Rock, and Homeland Security was no doubt called in.
• July 12: Police stopped a suspicious car at 9:07 p.m. at Main and Surf and the 62-year-old woman driver was cited and released for suspicion of driving poo-pooed.
• July 12: Police were called by a man in the 1700 block of Embarcadero who said his wallet, phone and other items were stolen from out of his locked vehicle, as the tourist tax is once again levied on the unsuspecting.
• July 11: Police responded at 8:51 p.m. to a disturbance in the 1200 block of Scott. A 48-year-old chap was pipped at the post for piflicated deportment in public.
• July 11: Police responded at 6:48 p.m. to a traffic collision in the 700 block of MBB. No injuries reported.
• July 11: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 2:44 p.m. in the 500 block of Atascadero Road. Logs indicated the driver, 35, was arrested for suspicion of possessing drug paraphernalia, and a controlled substance, and being stoned on drugs. His passenger, 33, was arrested for suspicion of possessing drug paraphernalia and being stoned on drugs. The infamous couple was tossed into the clink.
• July 11: Police responded at 2:42 p.m. to the Morro Rock parking lot where a juvenile delinquent and an adult ruffian reportedly got into an altercation. No word on who they’re pinning it on, but a report was sent to the District Attorney.
• July 10: Police contacted two women at 10 p.m. at Lila Keiser Park. Logs indicated the belles of the ball, ages 42 and 53, were nicked for suspicion of possessing drugs, paraphernalia, and being UTI.
• July 10: Police responded at 8:21 p.m. to a crash-n-dash in the 800 block of Main.
• July 10: At 2 p.m. there was another car crash at the blind intersection of Main and Surf.
• July 10: Police responded at 1 p.m. to Rite Aid for a shoplifting report, which they’ll likely never solve, but hey at least they responded, which is more than what you’ll get in Mean Ol’ Frisco.
• July 10: Police are investigating a petty theft in the 200 block of Main and a task force will no doubt be formed, soon as they get a clue.
• July 10: Police responded at 2:18 a.m. to a domestic dispute in the 400 block of Napa. They documented the incident for next time.
• July 10: Police contacted a suspicious hombre at 12:22 a.m. at Kern and Pacific. They violated the 50-year-old parolee and issued a summons that he’ll probably never answer.
• July 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:36 p.m. at Beach and Front. The driver, 30, was allegedly driving plastered, but police cited and released him, as the world flies into the Land of Idiocracy.
• July 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:10 p.m. in the 2800 block of Main. A 43-year-old driver was cited for a suspended license and released to go forth and sin no more.
• July 9: Police contacted a suspicious man at 9 p.m. at Rite Aid. The Moonraker, 27, had an out-of-county warrant, and was cited and released.
• July 9: Police responded at 4:10 p.m. to State Park Road for a report of someone making criminal threats. Logs indicated a 24-year-old Piojo was arrested for allegedly making threats and battering his non-cohabitant soon-to-be ex-girlfriend of four years.
• July 9: Police responded at 10:15 p.m. to the 500 block of MBB where they arrested a 52-year-old man for suspicion of financial elder abuse, identity theft, fraud, forgery and narcotics violations, but at least we know where the money probably went.
• July 9: Police responded to the 2900 block of Beachcomber for a reported theft from a garage. No word on what treasures were stolen, but it proves once again that people will steal anything.
• July 8: At 11:21 p.m. police were called to the South T-pier where fire paramedics had a rather gruesome call. According to police logs, the man “dismembered his right hand with a mortar.” And while there is some dispute whether it was an illegal firework, which fire department claims, or a signal flare that malfunctioned, which the poor man’s family has said, he will likely lose some fingers. He has along road to recovery ahead, in this cautionary tale.
• July 8: Police responded at 6 p.m. to a disturbance in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. They arrested a man, 52 and woman 28 for suspicion of disorderly conduct, ending this naughty business.
• July 7: Police responded to a disturbance at nearly midnight in the 1700 block of Embarcadero. The 49-year-old fellow was nicked for suspicion of possessing paraphernalia and being UTI.
• July 7: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 7:10 p.m. in the 800 block of MBB. The tomato driving, 69, was nicked for suspicion of being stewed.
• July 7: Police responded at 3:30 p.m. to a disturbance in the 300 block of Main. Logs indicated a 35-year-old battleaxe was arrested for suspicion of domestic violence and tossed into the dungeon.
• July 7: Someone at Morro Strand RV Park in the 200 block of Atascadero Road reported a petty theft, and they apparently weren’t referring to the space rate.
• July 6: Police responded at 9:35 p.m. to a report of an assault with a deadly weapon at Morro Rock. But nothing came of it.
• July 6: Someone reported suspected child abuse in the 2700 block of Alder Avenue.
• July 6: Someone vandalized a vehicle in the 1300 block of Bolton Dr.
• July 5: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:18 p.m. and arrested the driver, 32, for suspicion of driving stoned on drugs. His passenger, 27, got nicked for two, felony warrants, a misdemeanor warrant, and possession of paraphernalia.
• July 5: A woman at a motel in the 2400 block of Main told police that items were stolen from her room while it was unlocked and the door left open by housekeeping.
• July 5: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 1:23 a.m. on Main at Errol. A 62-year-old woman driver was arrested for suspicion of driving sauced.
• July 5: Police stopped another suspicious vehicle at 12:37 a.m. on Main at Atascadero Road. A 25-year-old driver was nicked for suspicion of driving stinky.