• Jan. 20: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 9:09 a.m. in the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd. The 60-year-old ragamuffin had a bench warrant and was issued a second slip of Court TP and flushed back into the world.
• Jan. 19: Police contacted another model citizen at 7:09 p.m. in the 2900 block of Juniper. A 36-year-old fellow was nicked for suspicion of possession of illegal drugs and paraphernalia and kicked to the curb in County Jail.
• Jan. 19: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 7:16 p.m. at Harbor and Shasta a code violation. Naturally, the driver, 24, had a suspended license, so police, showing a modicum of decency, cited and released the hombre but for some reason, didn’t tow his vehicle away.
• Jan. 19: At 11:46 p.m. police stopped a suspicious truck with a hog in the truck bed at City Park on Harbor Street. Logs indicated the driver, 67, had allegedly stolen the truck from a dealership in SLO and the stole the Harley-Davidson bike form a dealership in Fresno. The larcenous busy beaver was arrested and the truck returned to Perry Ford, with the Harley apparently to follow.
• Jan. 18: Police and fire units were called out at 6:17 p.m. to a car crash in the 900 block of Morro. Then at 6:38 p.m. there was another crash at South Bay Boulevard and State Park Road, stretching resources a bit thin (now imagine a fire erupting at a future battery energy plant right about then…). No injuries were reported.
• Jan. 17: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:02 p.m. at Monterey and Beach, (just about the last place a tipsy fellow wants to be at that hour). The 53-year-old driver was nicked for suspicion of driving on a toot and hauled to the gaol.
• Jan. 17: At 11:03 p.m. police in the 400 block of Quintana rousted another scofflaw from the Creek bed Estates, who had three bench warrants. He was issued a fourth disappearance ticket and released.
• Jan. 17: Police responded at 1:25 p.m. to a report of a fight in progress in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd. No arrests were made, and the fight apparently declared a draw.
• Jan. 17: Police responded to the 300 block of Pico at 4:30 a.m. after someone reported a rape had been committed earlier that same morning. Police are investigating.
• Jan. 16: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 8:42 p.m. in the 600 block of Harbor. Logs indicated the 54-year-old lobstrocity had a felony warrant and was arrested. Police also reportedly found suspected drug paraphernalia in his possession; his stash apparently already gone up in smoke.
• Jan. 15: At 10:55 p.m. police contacted another suspicious character in the 600 block of Harbor and the humanicus dooficus, 45, had five outstanding bench warrants, apparently too many not to go to jail.
• Jan. 15: Police got two reports of suspected child sexual abuse in the 900 block of Pico and 300 block of Hill.
• Jan. 15: Police and fire responded at 2:30 p.m. to a car crash at Hwy 1 and Yerba Buena. No injuries were reported.
• Jan. 15: Police contacted yet another bail jumper, 58, at 12:24 a.m. in the 600 block of Harbor (hey guys do ‘ya think this location might be a bust!?!). This master criminal had only one bench warrant and was let go, the juice apparently not worth the squeeze.
• Jan. 14: Police contacted another suspicious fellow at 9:53 p.m. in the 600 block of Harbor. The 40-year-old junkie was nicked for suspicion of possessing illegal drugs — with two prior convictions, which could add a year onto what will no doubt be another lenient sentence. Another miscreant was nicked at the same time and place but only had a pair of bench warrants and not a full house like the other guy.
• Jan. 14: At 10:45 a.m. the school fuzz reported a kid had run away from the high school. The manhunt was called off a short time later, when the wanderer was found walking up Hwy 1 north of Cayucos.
• Jan. 14: A concerned citizen went to the police station to show officers a letter he or she had received and wanted to share. No word on the top secrets it revealed.
• Jan. 14: Graffidiots apparently struck in the 600 block of Marina.
• Jan. 13: Police spied a suspicious fellow at 11:11 p.m. in the 700 block of Harbor. The 28-year-old idjit had four bench warrants and was reeled in and landed in the County Jail.
• Jan. 11: At 4:23 p.m. in the 500 block of Morro Bay Blvd., some dingus was raising a ruckus. The 39-year-old hombre was tossed into the dungeon for suspicion of disorderly conduct while under the influence of illegal drugs, which is no excuse or an effective defense.
• Jan. 11: Police espied a suspicious woman at 2:42 p.m. in the 800 block of MBB. The 62-year-old scofflaw had a bench warrant, was issued another disappearance ticket and released to catch another day.
• Jan. 11: At 11:10 a.m. police and fire responded to the Roundabout at MBB and Quintana Road for a car crash. No gory details were available, sorry.
• Jan. 11: At 9:36 in the 800 block of MBB, yet another model citizen was encountered who had a bench warrant. This 46-year-old chap was cited with a wrist slap.
• Jan. 10: The red-light roundup continued, as at 7:25 p.m. in the 900 block of The Boulevard, they caught up to another citizen of the year with a bench warrant. That 37-year-old fellow was also cited and unleashed back upon the world.
• Jan. 10: At 7:30 p.m. some fellow turned himself in on a felony warrant at the police station in the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd., as sometimes they jump into the boat. But alas, this little fish was tossed back with a new promise-to-appear date to violate.
• Jan. 10: Police responded at 4 p.m. to the 2600 block of Main where some poor mutt reportedly was bitten by a no doubt miserable mongrel.
• Jan. 10: A citizen came to the stationhouse to report getting scammed by some scammer pretending to be his or her bank. The loss was $35,000.
• Jan. 9: Police in the 1300 block of Main spotted a fellow with a warrant at 10:17 p.m. Logs indicated they stopped the weasel and while searching him allegedly found suspected methamphetamine and drug paraphernalia. The 40-year-old mulish apparent meth-head was hauled off to the hoosegow.
• Jan. 9: Police contacted yet another wanted fellow at 3:30 p.m. in the 400 block of Morro Ave. This 59-year-old apparent globster had three warrants and as they say, three will get ya’ 30, days in the can that is.
• Jan. 8: At 1:17 p.m. police and fire responded to a car crash at Main and Pacific, where citizens lobbied for, and the city council once agreed, there should be a 4-way stop sign.
• Jan. 8: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 6:21 a.m. in the Morro Rock parking lot and arrested the dude for suspicion of being sauced in public, which seems a tad early to be pie-eyed.
• Jan. 7: At 7:44 p.m. a 37-year-old accused criminal walked into the police station and got arrested on a felony warrant.
• Jan. 7: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 5:44 p.m. in the 400 block of Quintana. Logs indicated the she-devil was allegedly drunk and stoned, and violating parole. She was booked into the County B&B.
• Jan. 7: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:32 a.m. in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. The driver, 65, was nicked for driving with fake tags on the car and the innocent vehicle too was arrested and towed to the impound yard, which hardly seems fair.
• Jan. 7: Police contacted a regular customer, 50, at 12:30 a.m. in the 200 block of Surf. The wanted lass was nicked for a few bench warrants, but when they searched her, they allegedly found illegal drugs and, as she apparently has danced this ugly waltz before, has been charged with being an alleged repeat drug offender, eligible for an extra year in the pokey.
• Jan. 6: Police at the high school on Atascadero Road are investigating a 17-year-old evil coward for suspicion of cyber bullying.
• Jan. 6: Police are investigating a reported case of mail theft in Morro Bay State Park.