• July 5: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9:53 p.m. somewhere in town apparently because of having a brake or headlight out. Logs indicated the driver got nailed for suspicion of driving hammered.
• July 5: Someone found something at some undisclosed someplace in the North Morro Creek parking lot, aka The Pit.
• July 5: Police were called at 1:56 p.m. to a disturbance at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the problem child was tossed into the gaol for suspicion of getting bent in public.
• July 5: Police responded at 2:50 a.m. to a disturbance at the Inn at Morro Bay on St5ate Park Road. Logs indicated they arrested some apparent drug addict for suspicion of possessing illegal drugs with at least two prior arrests for the same thing, possession of paraphernalia and violation of probation. The naughty fellow went to jail.
• July 5: Police responded at 12:23 a.m. to a report of some reveler shooting off illegal fireworks at Morro Rock.
• July 4: Police responded at 11:50 p.m. to a reported domestic dispute at an undisclosed location. Police started a report for suspicion of spousal battery.
• July 4: At 10:31 p.m. police stopped a suspicious vehicle on Morro Avenue at Ascott Suites. Logs indicated they nicked the driver for suspicion of being half cut behind the wheel.
• July 4: Police responded to Morro Rock at 9:15 p.m. after someone reported finding some lost treasure.
• July 3: At 11:42 p.m. police stopped a suspicious vehicle at an unnamed location. Logs indicated the driver was popped for suspicion of driving gassed and a bench warrant.
• July 3: Police responded at 5:27 p.m. to a suspicious subject at City Park on Harbor Street. Logs indicated they arrested some brawler for suspicion of resisting arrest and battery on a police officer. The apparent anarchist was tossed into the dungeon.
• July 1: Police responded at 2:10 p.m. to a report of a suspicious subject at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the model citizen had a bench warrant and when police searched him or her the allegedly found a pocket full of dope on the mope and paraphernalia as well. They were injected into a cell.
• July 1: At 10:09 a.m. police contacted a suspicious miscreant at an apparently suspicious location. The scamboogah was hauled away for violating a court order to behave himself.
• June 30: Police picked up three candidates for citizen of the year with bench warrants at 10:54 a.m., 12:49 p.m. and 8:49 p.m., in an apparent clean sweep of meat sacks in town.
• June 30: Police responded at 11 a.m. to a car crash somewhere in town. No word on the extent of the carnage.
• June 29: Police responded at 6:27 p.m. to a report of someone having sticky fingers at an unnamed local store.
• June 29: Police at 9:33 a.m. contacted some apparent layabout taking up space and oxygen at City Park. The chap had a bench warrant and was issued another useless citation to ignore.
• June 28: Someone found something at Tidelands Park at 8 p.m. and gave it to police to worry about. Let’s hope it was a parking pass.
• June 28: At 6:20 p.m. police were sent to a report of grand theft at Morro Rock, apparently other than the stolen land.
• June 28: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 4:20 p.m. at an undisclosed location presumably in town. The driver was nicked for being ripped and when he arrived at the Parkinson Plaza, he allegedly was discovered to have a pocket full of suspected illegal drugs, in this week’s example of why they call it dope.
• June 28: Police responded at 2:05 p.m. to the Pitt parking lot for a reported disturbance. Logs indicated some apparent bent fellow had accosted and then assaulted innocent folks and was sent to the hoosegow for suspicion of being a drunken jerk in public, assault with a deadly weapon and uttering offensive words in a public place and no doubt shattering the serenity of setting.
• June 27: Police were called at 8 p.m. to a disturbance somewhere in town. Logs indicated some ruffian had battered some no doubt innocent person.
• June 27: Police responded at 11:54 p.m. to a suspicious subject call. Logs indicated the dingus involved was arrested for suspicion of possessing illegal drugs and paraphernalia.
• June 27: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:22 p.m. at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the driver was cited for a suspended license that was taken for a previous DUI conviction, and he or she is no doubt thankful they weren’t drinking this time too.
• June 27: At 7:38 p.m. police contacted a suspicious subject hanging around at the Dollar Tree Store on Quintana Road. The hooligan of course had a bench warrant and was issued another disappearance ticket and let loose once again on an unsuspecting world.
• June 27: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 8:39 a.m. at Morro Rock engaged in something he hadn’t ought a been. His probation was revoked and he was sent back to jail where he apparently belongs.
• June 25: Police responded at 6:09 p.m. to a report of some sinister zhlub assaulting a child.
• June 25: At 1:37 p.m. someone brought into the police station something they’d found somewhere in town.
• June 24: Police responded at 5:23 p.m. to a car crash at an undisclosed location. Not only do logs not say where it happened or who it happened to, they also don’t indicate if it was an injury crash or a minor fender bender, in today’s broad new world of transparency.
• June 24: At 11:52 a.m. police contacted a regular customer at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the master criminal had both a felony and misdemeanor warrant and we can only presume was hauled off to the County lockup.
• June 23: At 11:12 a.m. police contacted an apparent Swagman sleeping in public and cited the squit for illegally camping where they can’t collect a bed tax.
• June 23: Police responded at 9:50 a.m. to a disturbance at Morro Elementary. Logs indicated some mulish bonehead violated a restraining order.
• June 23: Police responded at 8 p.m. to a reported grand theft at Albertson’s Market, as no doubt someone took combatting the affordability crisis a bit too much to heart.
• June 22: At 12:05 p.m. police responded to an undisclosed location in town after someone was discovered deceased.
• June 22: At 11:47 a.m. police responded to a report of someone shoplifting at the Mobil Station in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated the alleged thief was also nicked for being drunk as a skunk in public, which no doubt explains why he thought he could get away with thieving.