• Nov. 23: Someone found something of some apparent value that some unknown person somehow lost and due to some unforeseen circumstance it was found.
• Nov. 23: Police were called to a disturbance at 4:26 p.m. Logs indicated the case involved someone in mental distress.
• Nov. 23: At 3:42 p.m. police responded to an undisclosed location where the apparent resident had passed away.
• Nov. 23: Police responded at 4:08 p.m. filtered out someone with a bench warrant at the local business on Main Street.
• Nov. 22: Police responded at 6:14 p.m. to Albertson’s Market on Quintana to deal with a sticky-fingered customer who’d used the help-yourself lane.
• Nov. 22: At 3:45 p.m. police caught up to some felonious scofflaw with a felony warrant.
• Nov. 22: Police responded at 10:36 a.m. to a disturbance at an unlisted location. Logs indicated the matter involved someone in violation of a domestic violence stay-the-hell-away order, who was subsequently found to allegedly being in possession of illegal drugs, and with two prior convictions to boot, which explains much.
• Nov. 21: Police responded at 1 p.m. to Chuck’s Towing yard on Quintana Road where some monster committed felony vandalism. No word on what was broken, and there’s no a possible motive beyond sheer meanness.
• Nov. 21: At 11:50 a.m. police contacted some suspicious fellow with a felony warrant, eliminating yet another menace from decent society.
• Nov. 20: Police responded at 10:54 p.m. to a reported missing person at the Bali Hai Apartment complex.
• Nov. 20: At 4:11 a.m. police responded to a reported car crash, though logs didn’t say where it happened, whether anyone was injured, nor gave any other useful information.
• Nov. 20: Police responded at 7:33 a.m. to a disturbance at Coleman Park on the Embarcadero. Logs indicated the case involved alleged battery by some drugged out reprobationer.
• Nov. 19: At 2:31p.m. police contacted a regular customer who had a bench warrant. They were no doubt issued another disappearance ticket and unleashed back into the wilds.
• Nov. 19: Another unregistered vehicle was towed off through no fault of its own.
• Nov. 19: Police responded at 9 a.m. to an undisclosed location for a reported battery and felony elder abuse.
• Nov. 18: Police at 11:19 a.m. towed another unregistered vehicle, as the crime wave continues.
• Nov. 18: Police responded at 9:51 a.m. to a disturbance somewhere over the rainbow in town. Logs indicated the call involved a spousal or cohabitant battery and possession of drug paraphernalia, a possible case of going full speed with half a brain.
• Nov. 18: Police responded to City Park on Harbor after someone reported a case of illegal dumping, which logs indicated was an infraction no doubt of the laws of human decency.
• Nov. 17: Police towed away another unregistered vehicle at 1:35 p.m., and also nicked a scalawag with a bench warrant at 12:28 p.m., which are both kind of the same thing.
• Nov. 17: Police at the high school on Atascadero Road logged a rare case of alleged truancy, as ditching school rises to a new low.
• Nov. 15: Police responded to a reported breaking and entering case at 11:25 p.m. Logs didn’t say where it happened, whether they sol-ved the caze, nor what was stolen, and no doubt mirroring the notion of “military intelligence.”
• Nov. 16: Some wanted apparent hoodlum turned himself or herself in at the police station seeking redemption for a prior failure to appear.
• Nov. 15:Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:27 p.m. at some undisclosed location in town. Logs indicated the inebriate driving was nicked for suspicion of driving juiced.
• Nov. 15: Police responded at 11:54 a.m. to a reported interloper refusing to leave the Mobil Station in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd., raising the question of how bad must one behave to get run off at a gas station?
• Nov. 14: Police responded at 8:43 a.m. to the San Luis Public Health office on Morro Bay Boulevard for a disturbance. Logs indicated some illuminaughty fellow was popped for suspicion of possessing paraphernalia and illegal drugs.
• Nov. 13: Police responded to someplace in town at 1:18 p.m. to tend to a dearly departed citizen.
• Nov. 13: At 1:34 p.m. police responded to another undisclosed location after someone reported that graffidiots had run amok and stolen some precious items.
• Nov. 13: At 2:36 a.m. police responded to a reported case of some mentally ill subject experiencing a bit of the vapors.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 4:37 p.m. to a reported grand larceny at Miner’s Hardware, as apparently the No Sales Tax special wasn’t enough.
• Nov. 12: Police arrested a suspicious vehicle at 11:11 a.m. for the heinous offense of parking in one place too long.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 10:09 a.m. to the 400 block of Quintana Rd. for a disturbing fellow. Logs indicated the disciple of Bacchus was busted for suspicion of being schnockered at the Family Dollar.
• Nov. 12: At 1:41 a.m. police contacted a suspicious subject at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the case involved a juvenile hooligan in possession of less than an ounce of weed.
• Nov. 10: Police responded at 8:35 p.m. to a distress call from someone being harassed with annoying phone calls at the Harbor View RV Park.
• Nov. 10: Police responded at 6:17 p.m. to a reported probation violation, and felony vandalism and burglary at an unknown location, hanging offenses in some parts.
• Nov. 10: Police responded at 1:46 p.m. to another undisclosed location after someone reported being swindled by some chiseler.
• Nov. 10: Another miscreant vehicle was towed away for failure to satisfy the DMV beast’s appetite for hard earned money.