• July 18: At 8:17 p.m. someone got pulled over for having a light out and ended up being arrested for driving lit with an open container too.
• July 18: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at the highly suspect time of 4:12 a.m. in the McDonald’s parking lot on Quintana Road. Logs indicated the night owl was cited for driving on a toot.
• July 17: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 10:57 p.m. at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated the apparent fruit loop dingus was discovered to allegedly have drug paraphernalia on him or her — a misdemeanor but also had two or more prior convictions for similar offensive behavior, which netted them a felony charge.
• July 17: Police responded at 8:12 p.m. to an unnamed location for a reported car burglary that logs indicated rose to felonious heights with the loss.
• July 17: Police responded at 7:27 a.m. to a disturbance at an undisclosed location. Logs indicated they started a felony domestic violence crime report and he’s really in trouble now.
• July 16: Police responded at 12:19 p.m. to a disturbance report. Logs indicated the call involved misdemeanor, simple assault on a person, though the person on the receiving end likely wouldn’t agree.
• July 16: Police contacted a familiar foe at 8:15 a.m. somewhere in town. The person of course had a bench warrant and was issued a second scrap of paper to ignore.
• July 16: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 1:57 a.m. somewhere in town and nicked the driver for suspicion of being half cut behind the wheel.
• July 15: Police responded at 9 a.m. to the Morro Dunes RV Park for a reported grand theft. No word on what got took or who the unhappy camper was.
• July 15: Police responded at 3 a.m. to a petty theft committed by some petty thief.
• July 15: Someone found something somewhere in town and sometime around 8:15 a.m. gave it to some police officer.
• July 14: Police responded at 5:49 p.m. to a report of someone finding something at Tara Lee’s Consignment Shop, that apparently wasn’t consigned.
• July 14: At 7:05 a.m. police took a report of suspected child abuse.
• July 13: At 8:34 a.m. police contacted a wanted fellow somewhere in town. Logs indicated the felonious fiend’s warrant was for a felony.
• July 12: Someone found something out at Morro Rock they apparently thought was valuable but didn’t want and gave it to police to solve the mystery of ownership.
• July 12: Someone turned himself or herself in on a local bench warrant surrendering to their fate at the police station on Morro Bay Boulevard. They were issued another court date and maybe they’ll actually show up this time.
• July 11: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:58 p.m., at an undisclosed location presumably in town for a no doubt serious code violation. The weasel driver was cited for suspicion of driving juiced.
• July 11: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 1:46 p.m. somewhere in town. The scofflaw had a bench warrant and got another disappearance ticket to ignore.
• July 11: Police responded at 12:30 p.m. to an unreported location and took a hit-n-split report.
• July 11: Police responded at 11:55 a.m. to a car crash at yet another undisclosed location. No word on the carnage inflicted on the innocent vehicles.
• July 10: At 11:43 p.m. police contacted a regular customer at an unnamed location. The mope was cited for suspicion of possessing dope and also got the special of the day citation for a bench warrant.
• July 10: Police cited another repeat customer at 4:23 p.m. after they turned themselves in at the police station because their court date had no doubt slipped their mind.
• July 9: At 4:19 p.m. police espied a suspicious subject in City Park on Harbor. Logs indicated the citizen of the year was nicked for alleged possession of illegal drugs and paraphernalia and pipped at the post by a citation.
• July 9: A citizen came to the police station at 2:38 p.m. and reported his or her identity had been stolen by some apparent high roller at Walmart and Target.
• July 9: Police responded to a car crash at 2:42 p.m. at an undisclosed location. Logs also didn’t say if it was an injury collision or minor fender-bender but let’s pray for the best.
• July 9: At 2:29 a.m. police contacted a suspicious subject at an undisclosed location, though at that hour being anywhere other than home in bed is suspicious in this town. Logs indicated the apparent drug addict was arrested for misdemeanor possession of drugs and having two or more prior convictions for the same nincompoopery.
• July 8: Police responded to two car crashes. One happened at 10:58 a.m. and the other at 5:24 p.m. No word on the severity of either, though any car crash is at best damaging.
• July 7: At 12:10 p.m. some good Samaritan brought in to the police station something he or she had found somewhere in town. Earlier, at 9 a.m. presumably someone else also brought in some treasure they’d found somewhere.
• July 6: Police contacted another return customer at 3:12 p.m. who had missed a lunch date with the judge. He or she was issued another court date to forget.
• July 6: Police responded to a reported assault at 1:50 p.m. at a local thrift store; in an apparently ugly incident at Foxy’s Thrift Shop.