• Dec. 21: Police responded at 8:21 p.m. to Bayshore Bluffs Park where a City employee said he witnessed someone dump several bags of trash in the parking lot next to a “No Dumping” sign, proving once again that people don’t read signs.
• Dec. 21: At 7:09 p.m. police stopped a suspicious vehicle on Hwy 1 at Yerba Buena. Logs indicated the driver, 75, was nicked for suspicion of driving kootered and hauled to the hoosegow.
• Dec. 21: At 3:43 p.m. police spied a suspicious fellow in the 700 block of Harbor. Logs indicated the guy had a bench warrant and while being arrested, officers allegedly found suspected drug paraphernalia.
• Dec. 21: Police towed away an offending vehicle parked in the area of Butte and Las Tunas because the DMV beast hadn’t been fed in over 6 months.
• Dec. 20: At 6:38 p.m. police stopped a suspicious vehicle in the Taco Bell drive-thru lane. Logs indicated the driver, 39, had a blood alcohol level of 0.29%, which is just about as drunk as a man can get.
• Dec. 20: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:17 p.m. on Hwy 1 at Morro Bay Blvd. The driver, 42, was arrested after police reportedly found suspected illegal drugs and paraphernalia in his possession.
• Dec. 19: Police responded at 7:50 p.m. to the 400 block of Morro Bay Blvd., for a reported vicious dog running amok. Logs indicated a loose dog attacked another dog whose owner got an injured thumb when he tried to fight the mongrel off. Officers documented the matter for the lawsuit to follow.
• Dec. 19: Police responded to the 700 block of Morro where someone reported his or her car got broken into. No word on what precious treasures were stolen.
• Dec. 19: Police responded to the 2300 block of Main to document a reported case of sexual battery.
• Dec. 19: Police took in two firearms someone turned in as part of a restraining order. Then someone turned in a bullet casing for destruction.
• Dec. 18: Someone turned in some property someone else had lost or abandoned at the Coast Guard Station on the Embarcadero.
• Dec. 17: At 6 p.m. police contacted a suspicious fellow at Atascadero Road and Hwy 1. Logs indicated the man had a felony and a misdemeanor warrant and was issued another notice to disappear and released.
• Dec. 17: Police encountered another familiar face at 2:30 p.m. in the 900 block of Allesandro. Logs indicated the 54-year-old Snallygaster had a bench warrant. He was issued a second disappearance ticket and unleashed back upon an unsuspecting and ill-prepared world.
• Dec. 17: Police stopped another suspicious car in the 400 block of Quintana Rd., at 1:34 p.m. Logs indicated a 52-year-old Squit had a bench warrant. Police of course cited and let her go.
• Dec. 16: Police responded to a dastardly report of someone stealing from the Morro Bay Public Library, which ought to be a capital offense.
• Dec. 16: Police responded to a call for help at 10 a.m. in the 1600 block of Main. Logs indicated they called County Mental Health regarding a “gravely disabled elderly adult.”
• Dec. 13: Someone found some kind of apparently evil contraband in the 500 block of Downey and turned it over to police to destroy.
• Dec. 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:52 a.m. in the 1200 Embarcadero. Logs indicated a 32-year-old woman was nicked for suspicion of driving honked, and possessing suspected drugs and paraphernalia. She got fitted with a pair of shiny bracelets for the ride to Uncle Ian’s place.
• Dec. 13: Police espied a suspicious dude at 9:26 a.m. at Main and Quintana Place. Logs indicated the model citizen had four bench warrants and allegedly was in possession of suspected illegal narcotics.
• Dec. 13: Police towed off an offensive vehicle in the 300 block of Harbor. Logs indicated the innocent car was illegally parked.
• Dec. 12: Police responded to the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., at 7:20 p.m. for a report of simple battery, though it’s no doubt a complicated case.
• Dec. 12: Someone turned in a cell phone they apparently found at an undisclosed location in town.
• Dec. 11: Police caught up to an apparent student at Morro Bay High and cited the delinquent for suspicion of truancy.
• Dec. 11: Police responded at 8:14 p.m. to the 800 block of Embarcadero where some poor fellow said his ex-girlfriend’s new beau vandalized his car, a case of good riddance to bad sushi.
• Dec. 11: Police responded to the 500 block of Kings where a citizen said she’d been harassed by her ex via text message in violation of a leave-her-alone court order. Police turned the report over to the D.A. for possible inaction.
• Dec. 11: Police responded at 3:30 p.m. to the 500 block of Quinn Ct., where a woman said she found a “tracker” hidden on her car that she said was put there by her husband, an apparent case of promising to love, honor, and cherish, but failing that — spy.
• Dec. 11: At 10 a.m. at Coleman Park on the Embarcadero, police were on a “call for service” when they encountered a familiar customer. The 38-year-old apparent swagman had several bench warrants and while being patted down for arrest, police reportedly found suspected methamphetamine in his possession, so that possession allegation was added to his woe.
• Dec. 11: Police responded at 6:10 a.m. to the 300 block of Arbutus where a citizen of this world passed away.
• Dec. 10: At 8:30 a.m. an officer on foot patrol came across a fellow staying in the weeds of the Hwy 1 overpass at Morro Bay Boulevard. The 28-year-old hombre had a bench warrant too and was charged with suspicion of “trespassing on Caltrans Hwy 1 right of way,” a hanging offense in some parts.
• Dec. 9: Police and fire responded at 9:30 a.m. to a report of arson in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. No arrests made, as the firebug was apparently gone like a puff of smoke.
• Dec. 8: At 6:47 p.m. police were called to the 700 block of Embarcadero where a tormented soul said some harasstard was bothering her in violation of a judge’s admonishment to behave himself.
• Dec. 8: Someone turned in a bicycle that they apparently found abandoned — stolen more like it — in the 400 block of Quintana Road.
• Dec. 7: Police responded at 9:50 p.m. to the 700 block of Quintana for a crime you don’t see every day — purse snatching. On the other hand a few hours earlier, in the 400 block of Main, someone found a wallet and turned it over to police.
• Dec. 7: At 11:08 a.m. at Lila Keiser Park, police contacted a pair of shining examples with warrants. A 31-year-old scofflaw with one warrant went to jail and a 40-year-old miscreant with seven warrants joined him. Police reportedly also found suspected drug paraphernalia in the latter’s pocket, his stash no doubt gone up in smoke.
• Dec. 7: At 9:17 a.m. police contacted a suspicious fellow in the Morro Rock parking lot. Logs indicated the 54-year-old scamboogah had four bench warrants; an open container of hooch in his car adding to his misery.
• Dec. 7: Police responded at 3:14 a.m. to a disturbance in the 400 block of Monterey. Logs indicated a 30-year-old hombre was arrested for suspicion of spousal or cohabitant battery and thrown into the dungeon.
• Dec. 7: Police took a report of a runaway juvenile hooligan in the 1000 block of Market.
• Dec. 6: At 4:41 p.m. in the 1600 block of Main police contacted a 52-year-old fellow and charged the mulish moron with making harassing, annoying and/or threatening phone calls.
• Dec. 5: Police responded to the 3300 block of Tide for a reported grand theft. Logs indicated the victim was defrauded out of a whopping $95,000, in one of the largest fraud cases in town history. In another case, a citizen in the 400 block of Fresno was the victim of credit card fraud and identity theft. That loss wasn’t listed in logs.
• Dec. 5: Police received at 6:35 a.m. a report of suspected child abuse in the 400 block of Mindoro. The call reportedly came from someone at Valley Children’s Hospital in Madera.
• Dec. 4: Some graffidiot left his mark at Lila Keiser Park.
• Dec. 4: Police responded at 7:57 a.m. to Fitness Works Gym located in the 400 block of Quintana after some maniac squirted pepper spray into the building, reportedly in retaliation for a perceived slight by an employee. A 52-year-old fellow was arrested in the case and had his homeless self’s bail set at $20,000.
• Dec. 2: There was another purse snatching. This time in the 300 block of Morro Bay Blvd., as the crime wave continues.
• Dec. 2: Another fruit-loop dingus left his mark at City Park.