• March 1: Someone found a battery at Beach and Front and charged police with responsibility of it.
• Feb. 28: At 4:16 p.m. in the 400 block of Napa police contacted a 32-year-old hombre and eventually arrested him for suspicion of possessing illegal drugs and drug paraphernalia plus a third charge of being a repeat drug offender was also sent off for the D.A.’s review and confirmation, so he’s in a world of trouble now.
• Feb. 28: Police responded at 8:23 a.m. to Main and Quintana for a reported traffic collision. No gory details were available, but it appears to have been a minor incursion.
• Feb. 27: Police took a courtesy report concerning identity theft that apparently happened in the 700 block of Main, but the reporting party appears to be from out of town.
• Feb. 26: Police responded at 10:40 p.m. to Reno Court where a man had passed away.
• Feb. 26: Police responded to the 1100 block of Market at 10:45 p.m. where they arrested a 40-year-old fellow for suspicion of trespassing and threw the scalawag into the dungeon.
• Feb. 26: Police responded at 11:07 a.m. to a disturbance at City Park in the 700 block of Harbor. Logs indicated they arrested a 24-year-old citizen of the year for suspicion of resisting arrest, possessing drugs and drug paraphernalia and being stoned on drugs, which is no excuse nor is it a defense in court.
• Feb. 26: Police came across some swizzle stick traipsing down the 1000 block of Market at 10:30 a.m. Logs indicated the 54-year-old juice weasel was nicked for suspicion of being tilted in public.
• Feb. 25: Police at Morro Bay High School took a report of an alleged sexual assault that reportedly happened at the high school at an unspecified date in September 2022.
• Feb. 25: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 12:30 p.m. in the 300 block of Pacific. Logs indicated the 30-year-old fallstaffian dingus was nicked for suspicion of being toddy stricken in public.
• Feb. 24: Police responded to the 2300 block of Maher Dr., where a citizen said he or she was the victim of identity theft, the scourge of the computer age.
• Feb. 24: Graffidiots left their mark the 1200 block of Embarcadero.
• Feb. 24: Police responded at 8:47 a.m. to the 300 block of Atascadero Rd., for a collision, as two cars tried to occupy the same space at the same time with predictable results.
• Feb. 23: Someone came to the police station on Morro Bay Boulevard and reported a missing person. Police filed a report, as they’ll no doubt turn up someplace.
• Feb. 23: Police responded to the 1700 block of Embarcadero at the beach for a reported battery.
• Feb. 22: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 4 p.m. in City Park on Harbor Street. The gent had a bench warrant and was allegedly too drunk to let loose in decent society and was checked into the Kansas Avenue Hilton to sleep it off.
• Feb. 22: Someone found a cell phone at Coleman Beach and turned it over to police to unlock the mystery.
• Feb. 21: Police espied a familiar foe at 4:30 p.m. at City Park on Harbor Street. The 60-year-old model citizen had a felony warrant and they allegedly also found suspected illegal drugs when he was searched before being hauled to the clink.
• Feb. 21: At 12:16 a.m. police came across a suspicious fellow hanging around the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. The 38-year-old scrounger had a felony warrant and got picked up.
• Feb. 20: A citizen in the 300 block of Arbutus told police he or she had gotten a threatening phone call from an apparent terrorist, the cure for which is no doubt an air horn blast in the earhole.
• Feb. 20: Police caught up to another scofflaw at 11:50 a.m. at City Park who had two bench warrants. He was actually taken to the iron bar hotel, where room service is as bad as the company.
• Feb. 19: Police contacted another suspicious wanderer at 10:51 p.m. in the 400 block of Quintana. This fellow, 37, had a bench warrant too and was also taken to the County B&B.
• Feb. 19: At 4:17 p.m. police got a report of petty theft and vandalism from someone in the 800 block of Morro. Logs indicated it was an uncivil matter between aggrieved sneetches.
• Feb. 19: Police got a report at 10:38 a.m. from the 2700 block of Birch of someone possibly making “criminal threats with the intent to terrorize,” or as the new administration might call it, “tough negotiating.”
• Feb. 19: Police responded at 10 a.m. to a public parking lot at Pacific and Embarcadero after someone found somebody’s junk strewn about. Logs indicated police posted the spot for illegal camping where they can’t collect a bed tax. The area must be cleared out within 72 hours, or else…
• Feb. 19: Police responded to a disturbance at 7:52 a.m. in the 700 block of Bernardo. Logs indicated a woman was taken to County Mental Health for a 72-hour timeout.
• Feb. 18: Police responded at 1:30 p.m. to a disturbance in the 400 block of Bonita. Logs indicated they encountered a 39-year-old woman apparently at the center of the whirlwind who was allegedly stoned on drugs and also on parole. She was delivered into the loving arms of the County Sheriff.
• Feb. 17: Police responded at 5:20 p.m. to a car crash at Hwy 1 and Yerba Buena. Sorry, no death and destruction to report.
• Feb. 17: Police had a couple of calls to the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. The first at 7 a.m. for a stolen vehicle, which also had some undisclosed property with it. They returned at 2:14 p.m. after another business discovered they too had been robbed. Police started a crime report for burglary, theft and vandalism, as the crime wave continues unabated.
• Feb. 17: Someone turned in some undisclosed junk that they’d found in the 600 block of Embarcadero.