• Nov. 5: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at the suspect time of 11:32 p.m. in the 400 block of Quintana, hangin’ around the Dollar Tree. The 30-year-old misfit had three bench warrants and was taken to jail, a case of no more Chuka-LaBonga for you.
• Nov. 5: At 10 p.m. police ran across a suspicious woman, 21, also hanging around the Dollar Tree Store on Quintana Road. She apparently had a pair of bench warrants, which landed her in the hoosegow.
• Nov. 5: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 12:10 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. The 65-year-old fellow had two bench warrants and checked into the County B&B, his days of skating over for a while.
• Nov. 3: Police contacted an apparent Skint at 10:45 p.m. in the 400 block of Kern. The night owl, 33, had three bench warrants and she was arrested. While being frisked, police allegedly found illegal drugs on her. She was also pushing a shopping cart that didn’t belong to her, a hangin’ offense in these parts.
• Nov. 3: At 10 a.m. a 43-year-old woman with a warrant apparently surrendered at the police station on Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated she was cited and released with a second disappearance ticket.
• Nov. 2: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:10 p.m. at Kennedy Way and Shasta for some no doubt trumped up code violation. The driver, 34, was allegedly driving full as a tick and got nicked.
• Nov. 2: Someone left his or her car parked too long in the 900 block of Allesandro and police arrested the fiendish 2001, Ford Excursion.
• Nov. 2: Someone turned in some ammo they were shooting to be rid of.
• Nov. 1: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:30 p.m. in the 200 block of Harbor. The 45-year-old driver was popped like a weasel for allegedly driving with a snoot-full of hooch, and for undisclosed illegal drugs police allegedly found on him.
• Nov. 1: Police responded at 6 a.m. to a disturbance in the 2000 block of Hemlock. Logs indicated a woman was taken to French Hospital for a 72-hour timeout.
• Oct. 31: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:24 p.m. at Pacific and Main. Logs indicated the 43-year-old fellow driving had two bench warrants and was also arrested for allegedly driving on a toot.
• Oct. 31: Police contacted a suspicious trick-or-treater at 6:23 p.m. on Coleman Drive. The 49-year-old apparent Zhlub was arrested for suspicion of being wasted in public.
• Oct. 31: Police reasoned at 5:13 a.m. to a reported trespassing in the 1100 block of Main. They apparently caught up to a suspect, 57, in the 300 block of Surf and arrested the interloper for suspicion of trespassing — hey, at least she didn’t have a warrant, yet.
• Oct. 30: Police contacted a suspicious hombre truckin’ down the 200 block of Harbor at 10:38 p.m. Logs indicated officers arrested the 35-year-old model citizen for alleged possession of drug paraphernalia and illegal drugs, namely fentanyl the scourge of the 21st Century.
• Oct. 30: At 7:18 p.m. police responded to the 500 block of Dawson for a report of suspected child abuse. A report was written and filed.
• Oct. 30: Police contacted another suspicious subject at 4:10 p.m. at Albertson’s Market in the 700 block of Quintana. The mope, 45, was nicked for suspicion of possession of dope, possession of dope paraphernalia, being high on dope, and possessing over an ounce of weed, in this week’s shining example of why they call it dope.
• Oct. 30: Police responded to Bonita Street for a
deceased person call.
• Oct. 30: Police contacted a familiar fiend, 69, at noon in the 300 block of Surf. She had two bench warrants and got nicked.
• Oct. 30: Police responded to the Creek Bed Estates in the 300 block of Quintana at 8:40 a.m. where they met up with another ol’ chum, 30, who got took to the hoosegow on a bench warrant.
• Oct. 30: At 3:12 a.m. police responded to a disturbance in the 2900 block of Atascadero Rd. A 21-year-old woman was jammed up on suspicion of spousal/cohabitant battery.
• Oct. 29: Police responded at 9:40 p.m. to a disturbance in the 600 block of Embarcadero. A 39-year-old battleaxe got arrested for suspicion of getting rat-arsed drunk and being all disorderly, where the tourists can see you no less.
It was her majesty’s second encounter with the Gendarme’s in as many days, as on Oct. 27 in City Park, she was picked up on four bench warrants and of course, intoxication.
• Oct. 29: Police contacted a 48-year-old familiar fellow and arrested the scofflaw on a bench warrant.
• Oct. 29: Someone found a skateboard and kick-flipped it over to police.
• Oct. 27: At 11:37 p.m. police espied a suspicious subject at Albertson’s Market. The 45-year-old apparent lay-about who they arrested for suspicion of possessing dope and dope paraphernalia, and the soup of the day — a bench warrant.
• Oct. 27: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle for some no doubt trumped up code violation. The woman driver, 41, was arrested for suspicion of having fake registration tags, which the State Vehicle Code considers a hangin’ offense.
• Oct. 27: Someone turned in shotgun shells they were aiming to be rid of.
• Oct. 27: High school secutiry filed a report concerning suspected domestic violence, apparently told to him by a mandated reporter.
• Oct. 26: Police responded at 7 p.m. to a disturbance in the 800 block of Market. Logs indicated it was a case of an uncivil violation of a civil harassment court order. A report was field with the district attorney in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Oct. 26: At 8:35 p.m. police contacted some scruffy Philistines at Albertson’s Market. One, 36-year-old fellow had three bench warrants and was cited and released with a future fourth. The other, 27, was nicked for a warrant and naturally, they allegedly found suspected illegal drugs and paraphernalia on him, no doubt stuffed in his Underoos.
• Oct. 26: Police contacted another citizen of the year, 35, at 11:17 p.m. in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. That hombre had an out-of-county warrant but was cited and released, apparently not worth the gas to drive to jail.
• Oct. 25: At 11:11 a.m. police contacted someone with mental health issues in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. He or she was taken for a little 72-hour timeout at French Hospital.
• Oct. 25: Someone at the police station turned a wallet they’d found at an undisclosed location in town.
• Oct. 25: In today’s Lost-Found file — a woman at Albertson’s Market reported a grand theft, apparently having been robbed of some undisclosed treasure. Logs indicated she later found what she’d lost and asked police to lose the report she’d filed.
• Oct. 25: Police were called at 10:15 a.m. to the 500 block of Morro for a report of some off-leash, beastly mutt running amok that attacked another dog.
• Oct. 24: At 9:38 p.m. in the 500 block of Embarcadero, police contacted a suspicious subject traipsing down street. The 32-year-old swizzle stick was arrested for goin’ on the razzle in public.
• Oct. 24: Police took a courtesy report for a vehicle vs. deer collision at 7 p.m. at South Bay Boulevard and State Park Road, presumably filed by the driver, as the deer was no doubt unable to speak for itself.
• Oct. 24: Police at 3:30 p.m. were called to the Community Center in the 1000 block of Kennedy Way for a citizen apparently having a very bad day. He or she was taken for a 72-hour timeout at Sierra Vista Hospital.