• Nov. 19: Police responded at 9:25 p.m. to some Zhlub disturbing the peace of decent society in the 400 block of Morro Bay Blvd. A 43-year-old bounder was nicked for suspicion of being drunk & disorderly.
• Nov. 19: Police contacted a suspicious man at 7:30 p.m. in the area of Harbor and Main. Logs indicated the 23-year-old apparent Fresnoid had a felony warrant from Fresno County and was checked into the Parkinson Plaza.
• Nov. 19: Police contacted a suspicious woman, 21, in the area of Harbor and Main apparently acting like a fooligan. She was arrested for suspicion of being overly inebriated and tossed into the gaol.
• Nov. 19: Police contacted a suspicious woman hanging around the Community Center at 2 a.m. The 55-year-old apparent nillionaire had a bench warrant out of Kings County and was cited and released, as sometimes the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
• Nov. 18: Police responded at 10:56 p.m. to the 700 block of Quintana for a suspicious subject in the Albertson’s parking lot. Logs indicated they contacted a 24-year-old allegedly soused probationer and returned him to the loving arms of the Sheriff.
• Nov. 18: Police contacted a regular customer, 49, at 11:35 p.m. in the 900 block of Piney Way. She had a bench warrant and was issued another useless summons and released.
• Nov. 18: Police were called to a disturbance at 1:49 p.m. in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated the 66-year-old citizen of the year was allegedly drunk & disorderly and slept it off on a block of concrete in County Jail.
• Nov. 17: Some scalawag vandalized a boat in the 300 block of Embarcadero. In another cruel act, some hooligan vandalized the former teen center in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd.
• Nov. 17: Police responded at 12:16 p.m. to the 500 block of Kings for a reported possible kidnapping of a child.
• Nov. 16: Police responded at 10:23 p.m. to the 1300 block of Main where they contacted an old friend with a bench warrant. The 62-year-old scofflaw was cited and unleashed again.
• Nov. 15: Police responded at 11:32 p.m. to a report of a suspicious subject in the area of Casitas and Nutmeg. A 39-year-old regular customer was contacted. She also allegedly possessed paraphernalia and was arrested, her stash no doubt already shot.
• Nov. 15: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:37 p.m. in the 600 block of Atascadero Rd. The woman driver, 30, was nicked for suspicion of driving poo-pooed.
• Nov. 15: Police responded to a disturbance at 6:30 p.m. in the 400 block of Monterey. Logs indicated a man was hauled to County Mental Health for 72-hours of no doubt much needed rest and relaxation.
• Nov. 15: Police responded at 10:45 a.m. to the 500 block of Pacific where someone had passed away.
• Nov. 14: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 10:13 a.m. in the 800 block of Embarcadero. The 65-year old had a bench warrant and was issued another citation to ignore and released.
• Nov. 14: Police responded at 8:27 a.m. to a traffic collision at South Bay and Quintana. Sorry, no gruesome details to report.
• Nov. 13: Police took a report of suspected child abuse in the 500 block of Dawson.
• Nov. 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9:41 p.m. at Scott and Morro. A 19-year-old rookie was arrested for suspicion of driving stultified and not having an actual driver’s license, which over the next couple of years will come to seem normal.
• Nov. 12: A 45-year-old man paid two visits to the hoosegow over one no doubt very long day. It started at 2:17 a.m. in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., with a report of a piflicated fellow raising Cain. He was arrested for allegedly being too drunk to pass go, a case of the nail that sticks out getting hammered. Then at 11:35 p.m. the same day police returned to the scene for another disturbance and the same man was arrested for suspicion of threatening his wife and stepson. The hot head made an encore appearance at the County cooler.
• Nov. 12: Police responded at 9:18 a.m. to the 700 block of Embarcadero where some disturbing woman apparently got up on the wrong side of the tent. The hellcat, 39, was arrested for suspicion of disorderly conduct due to being bent on illegal drugs and possession of a glass crack pipe.
• Nov. 11: Police responded at 9:51 p.m. to a disturbance in the 700 block of Morro. Logs indicated a 45-year-old reveler was nicked for suspicion of going woolly-booger.
• Nov. 11: Someone found a set of car keys at in the 500 block of Piney Way and left it to police to unlock the mystery.
• Nov. 11: At 11:15 a.m. police contacted a suspicious fellow at Beach and West. The 66-year-old swizzle stick was hauled to the hoosegow for suspicion of being twisted in public.
• Nov. 10: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9:31 p.m. in the 2100 block of Laurel. Logs indicated a 67-year-old woman was arrested on suspicion of driving toasted and was taken to the hospital for a bloodletting before going to County Jail for some tear shedding.
• Nov. 10: Police responded at 5:39 p.m. to the 400 block of Quintana where two people had gone shopping but apparently paying slipped their minds and they skedaddled with several no doubt precious and valuable items.
• Nov. 10: Someone found a phone down by the beach and police have it now.
• Nov. 10: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 5:55 a.m. on Quintana at Buena Vista. The 24-year-old driving was nicked for suspicion of being half cut behind the wheel, as he was apparently out late and not up early. It was the scofflaw’s second encounter with Johnny Law in a couple of days, as back on Nov. 7, at 1:24 a.m. he was stopped at Monterey and Beach and cited for a suspended license, a case of will dinguses never learn.
• Nov. 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9 p.m. in the 1700 block of Main. Logs indicated the 38-year-old driver had two bench warrants and a suspended license but was just cited and released, no doubt part of the new reimagining policing craze.
• Nov. 9: Police responded at 12:31 a.m. to a disturbance in the 1500 block of Quintana. Logs indicated someone was taken to County Mental Health for a 72-hour timeout.
• Nov. 8: Someone turned in an electric scooter they found in the 2500 block of Greenwood. Someone else turned in a bag of dope for police to destroy that they reportedly found in the 2400 block of Main.
• Nov. 8: Police responded to the 500 block of Dawson for a report of a runaway juvenile.
• Nov. 7: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:35 p.m. at Main and Atascadero Road. Logs indicated the 34-year-old driver might have gotten away but for a miserable failure of the sobriety test.
• Nov. 7: Police responded at 7:40 p.m. to a reported trespasser in the 1000 block of Main. Logs indicated a 21-year-old raucous boor was arrested for suspicion of open container, carrying a concealed deadly weapon (a knife), and being plastered in public, which might explain a lot.
• Nov. 7: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 12:48 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. The 27-year-old had a bench warrant and got a second disappearance ticket and was released back into the wild.
• Nov. 6: Police were called to a disturbance at 9:26 p.m. in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated they encountered a 49-year-old woman and arrested her for suspicion of being stoned on drugs.
• Nov. 6: Police responded to a disturbance report at 8:22 p.m. in the 400 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated a 21-year-old hombre was pipped at the post for suspicion of possessing drugs, and being schwasted on drugs.