• June 11: Police stopped a suspicious but apparently familiar vehicle at 9:44 p.m. at Coleman Drive and the Embarcadero. Logs indicated the 57-year-old driver was arrested for a third drunk driving offense, for which he was also on probation and can no doubt kiss his license good-bye for the foreseeable future.
• June 11: Police contacted some swizzle stick traipsing down the 800 block of Main at about 6 p.m. The 30-year-old fellow was nicked for suspicion of being blindo in public.
• June 11: Police responded at 1:38 p.m. to a disturbance in the Rite Aid parking lot on Quintana Road. A 46-year-old shrew was the apparent cause of the ado and got arrested too. It was her second such run-in with the law in so many days, as on June 10 she also got popped for being corked.
• June 11: Police contacted a regular squit, 38, at 9:30 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. The apparent Illuminutty had six bench warrants and finally was checked into the Parkinson Plaza, formerly the
Hedges Hilton.
• June 10: Police responded to a disturbance at 9:07 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. Logs indicated they arrested a 30-year-old ruffian for suspicion of trespassing, battery and public inebriation, which explains a lot. He was taken to Sierra Vista Hospital to be checked out medically, apparently to make sure he was healthy enough to take to County Jail.
• June 10: Police responded at 1:24 a.m. to the 1400 block of Teresa Dr., for a disturbed fellow apparently raising Caine. A 52-year-old swamp donkey was arrested for suspicion of possessing illegal drugs.
• June 9: Police responded at 2:30 p.m. to the 400 block of Atascadero Rd., where they encountered a 20-year-old scofflaw who had 10 outstanding warrants, which while a lot is not the local record. He was of course cited and released with No. 11 no doubt soon to follow.
• June 8: Police searched for a juvenile girl that was reported as missing and found the wayward lass at the Morro Bay State Park Campground.
• June 8: Someone turned in ammunition they were shootin’ to get rid of.
• June 6: Police contacted a 37-year-old suspicious hombre at 7:19 p.m. in the 300 block of Atascadero Rd. Logs indicated he was allegedly drunk, which broke his felony probation and so police violated him into the County lockup.
• June 6: Police responded at 9:34 p.m. to a disturbance in the 600 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated they arrested a 27-year-old apparent maniac for suspicion of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and making criminal threats with the intent to terrorize or intimidate whomever he was assaulting.
• June 4: Police contacted a local wanderer, 34, at 2:23 p.m. in the 700 block of Main. The dear fellow had a bench warrant and was allegedly trespassing on private property without the consent of the aggrieved, sending the unwelcomed suspected interloper to the hoosegow for the night.
• June 3: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at high noon in the 1800 block of Main. The vehicle was towed for expired registration and the villain cited for the hanging offense, somebody get a rope!
• June 4: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 11:37 a.m. in the 1700 block of Main. The scofflaw had four bench warrants and was issued a fifth and told to appear in court where he’s apparently never been.
• June 4: Police responded at 10:50 a.m. to the 800 block of Napa where some poor soul had passed away.
• June 4: Police contacted at 7:41 a.m. another model citizen, 44, in the 1700 block of Embarcadero who’d missed a couple of court dates. He was hauled off to the gaol for a lesson in scheduling.
• June 3: Police responded at 10 p.m. to the 2600 block of Main where they contacted a 20-year-old man at his house and arrested him for violating a restraining order and violating probation, a case of even duct tape can’t fix stupid.
• June 3: At 3:15 p.m. police towed away an offensive vehicle parked in the 2000 block of Ironwood for an expired registration. On June 2 they hauled another vehicle from the 700 block of Shasta for the same pressing need — to feed the DMV kitty.
• June 3: Police responded at 11 a.m. to a disturbance at City Park in the 700 block of Harbor. A 38-year-old beclowned fellow was nicked for suspicion of being stir fried in public.
• June 3: Police responded at 9:36 a.m. to the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd., for yet another dingus causing a ruckus. The 43-year-old Bacchanalian was busted for suspicion of being too soused not to arrest.
• June 3: Someone found something sometime around noon somewhere in the 600 block of Quintana. They turned it over to some police officer that will no doubt do something with it.
• June 2: Police contacted yet another wanted desperado at 10:08 a.m. in the 2000 block of Ironwood who had a bench warrant. He was cited and released to no doubt catch again when he fails to appear… again.
• June 2: Police responded at 9:58 a.m. to a car burglary report in the 500 block of Mimosa. Logs indicated some tool stole undisclosed tools out of a vehicle.
• June 2: At 9:32 a.m. officers responded to the 500 block of Anchor where a fellow said some anarchist stole his golf clubs out of the wash room at his house.
• June 1: A family arrived at their vacation home in the 200 block of Main only to find the back door wide open and several drawers rifled through. Police are hunting the nefarious burglars.
• June 1: A woman with a warrant, 53, came to the police station apparently to turn herself in, but was issued another disappearance ticket and released.
• June 1: Police responded at 2:47 p.m. to the 1100 block of Front St. where some nodcock had broken into a parked car.
• June 1: Police responded at 1:30 p.m. to Albertson’s Market where some apparent nillionaire said several “consumable goods” were stolen out of his Albertson’s shopping cart. Police found the cart over by McDonald’s but the Hamburglar apparently isn’t a suspect.
• June 1: Police responded at 1:29 p.m. to a report of a fight in the 700 block of Sequoia Ct. A crime report for battery was written and arrests are no doubt imminent.
• June 1: Police contacted a suspicious woman, 22, at 10:54 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana. Logs indicated she had a felony warrant and was hauled away.
• June 1: Police contacted yet another fellow, 45, with a felony warrant at 9:23 a.m. in the 900 block of MBB. He was shackled and tossed into the dungeon.
• June 1: Police contacted a woman, 39, at 2:16 a.m. in the 900 block of MBB. The night owl had a felony warrant and was jailed, only for officers to find she was also allegedly in possession of drug paraphernalia, as she no doubt had burned through her stash.
• May 31: Police responded at 4 p.m. to a car crash in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. Sorry, no sordid details were available.
• May 31: At 3:44 p.m. police responded to a disturbance in the 1000 block of Market. Logs indicated a 50-year-old borracho was detained for allegedly being schnookered but logs said they released him without charges after he was turned over to medical personal, an apparent case of being so drunk you’re sick.
• May 30: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:39 p.m. in the 1000 block of Monterey in the heart of the danger zone. Logs indicated the 38-year-old driver was nicked for suspicion of driving stoned, without a valid license no less, three out-of-county warrants and of course possession of suspected illegal drugs.
• May 29: Police responded to the 700 block of Main where some graffidiot tagged the fence of a local business.