• Aug. 25: Police towed away a parked car in the 700 block of Monterey for violating the City’s parking-in-one-place-too-long law, a hanging offense in some parts.
• Aug. 25: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at the highly suspect time of 2:22 a.m. at Elm and Las Vegas. Logs indicated a 26-year-old hombre was nicked for suspicion of driving zonked, reportedly with a BAL of 0.19%, or about an 18-pack’s worth.
• Aug. 24: Someone found a credit card on the beach by Morro Rock and charged over to police to turn it in.
• Aug. 24: Police responded at 1:33 p.m. to a disturbance in the 300 block of Hill. Logs indicated they contacted a 57-year-old apparent ruffian and determined that the palooka was the “dominant aggressor” in a domestic violence incident. A domestic battery report was filed with the district attorney for possible inaction.
• Aug. 23: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 3:09 p.m. in the 200 block of Harbor. Logs indicated the lady driver, 29, had a suspended license plus three bench warrants and still she was cited and released, as apparently here we let the little fish go.
• Aug. 23: Police contacted a familiar foe at 9:44 a.m. at Harbor and Morro. The master criminal had eight bench warrants and was thrown into the dungeon.
• Aug. 22: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 9:44 p.m. in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. Logs indicated the driver, a 21-year-old chap, had a suspended license for a previous DUI, and was cited and released. He will no doubt now go buy a Lotto ticket before his luck runs out.
• Aug. 22: Police stopped yet another suspicious vehicle at 5:16 p.m. in the 1200 block of Main. The driver, a 23-year-old bonehead had a suspended license and was cited and release, a case where the juice ain’t worth the squeeze.
• Aug. 22: Police responded at 12:24 p.m. to LaJolla and Main for a car crack-up. Sorry, no injuries to report.
• Aug. 22: At 12:45 a.m. police conducted a patrol check in the 700 block of Quintana. Logs indicated they located a 38-year-old apparent swagman with four bench warrants. He was hauled to the gaol for the night.
• Aug. 21: Police responded to Cloisters Park where they took a report of a stolen license plate, proving once again that people will steal anything.
• Aug. 20: Police responded to the 900 block of Anchor where a citizen had apparently died during in the night. And on the 22nd, they responded to the 1200 block of Bolton, where another citizen had passed away.
• Aug. 20: Police responded at 7 p.m. to the 1000 block of Bolton. Logs indicated they arrested a 32-year-old interloper for suspicion of vandalism and trespassing, in this week’s example of why we need SWAT.
• Aug. 20: Police responded at 6:30 p.m. to traffic crash at South Bay and Quintana. According to logs, a 36-year-old woman driver was nicked for allegedly driving trashed and causing a crash.
• Aug. 20: Police responded to the 600 block of Quintana where someone had found something in the parking lot at the County Department of Social Services. No word on what treasure was found, but it likely won’t put the State back in the red.
• Aug. 20: Police contacted a suspicious subject at 8:55 a.m. in the 800 block of Harbor. Logs indicated the Snallygaster was arrested on two bench warrants and was allegedly in possession of drugs, in the latest example of why they call it dope.
• Aug. 20: Police responded at 2:21 a.m. to a disturbance in the 1700 block of Main. Logs indicated they detained an apparently upset person and turned him or her over to County Mental Health for a 72-hour timeout.
• Aug. 19: Police responded to the 1300 block of Morro after some Pilgrim found suspected methamphetamine and paraphernalia on the grounds of the Family Partnership Charter School.
• Aug. 19: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 8:12 p.m. in the 600 block of Embarcadero. The dude only had one bench warrant and was cited and released, no doubt part of the new job security program.
• Aug. 19: Police responded at 10:48 a.m. to the 500 block of Kings for violation of a keep-the-hell-away-from-her court order.
• Aug. 19: Police contacted another suspicious hombre at 9:47 a.m. in the 1300 block of Main. Logs indicated he had three bench warrants and was issued another disappearance ticket and released.
• Aug. 18: Police responded to the 1000 block of Walnut where a citizen told them he’d recovered the vehicle he had reported as stolen. Logs indicated the vehicle wasn’t exactly stolen, but was instead embezzled by some apparent bamboozler.
• Aug. 17: Someone found something somewhere down by the beach and turned it over to some policeman.
• Aug. 17: Police responded to the 2500 block of Greenwood to hewn down some knot head with seven bench warrants.
• Aug. 17: Police responded at 1:26 p.m. to a car crash in the 700 block of Quintana. No gory details to report.
• Aug. 16: Another automotive delinquent had his car towed from the 300 block of Surf to the impound yard, where it will be held captive until the State’s ransom is paid.
• Aug. 16: Police responded to the Launch Ramp area on the Embarcadero where someone said the electric motor for his dinghy was stolen.
• Aug. 15: Police towed away an offending vehicle parked for too long in the 600 block of Morro.
• Aug. 15: Police responded at noon to the 1300 block of Main where they posted a transient camp with a 72-hour move-it or lose-it warning.
• Aug. 15: Police responded to a disturbance in the 2800 block of Fir where the fur was apparently flying in a domestic dustup. Logs indicated a 35-year-old battleaxe was arrested for suspicion of domestic battery and she cooled her heels in the lock up.
• Aug. 14: Police contacted a swizzle stick stirring things up in the 900 block of Morro at 10:50 p.m. Logs indicated the howler, a 43-year-old woman, was arrested for suspicion of having an open container of hooch and having drunk too much of it to be left amongst the sober folks.
• Aug. 14: Police responded to a disturbance at 6:52 p.m. in the 300 block of San Jacinto. A 52-year-old apparent hell raiser was arrested for a probation violation, as it was apparently not her first round-up rodeo.
• Aug. 14: Police responded to the Triangle parking lot at the end of Front Street where a citizen reported that items had been stolen off their boat, while it was dry docked in the City’s storage yard.
• Aug. 13: Police were called to a disturbance at 3:57 p.m. in the 1000 block of Main at the Harbor House Inn. A 23-year-old rabble-rouser was nicked for suspicion of being squished in public.
• Aug. 13: Someone turned in a cell phone they found at Morro Rock.
• Aug. 12: Police contacted a local yokel at 11:28 a.m. somewhere on Coleman Drive. The evil genius had seven bench warrants and will see the judge before he gets magical No. 8.
• Aug. 12: At noon police spotted another suspicious subject in the 1300 block of Embarcadero. The 38-year-old woman had a bench warrant and was also on parole. Her parole was violated and she was hauled to the hoosegow.