• Sept. 5: Police responded to the 800 block of Quintana Rd., for a reported grand theft, as a citizen was no doubt shocked to find his generator had been pilfered.
• Sept. 4: Someone found something somewhere near Beachcomber and Yerba Buena some time ago and somehow decided police should have it.
• Sept. 4: At 5:54 p.m. police espied a wanted woman, 49, hanging around the 800 block of Morro Bay Blvd. She had a warrant, which warranted a ride to the hoosegow.
• Sept. 4: At 5 p.m. police ventured to the 700 block of Quintana and the Creek Bed Estates, where they apprehended a desperate fugitive, 44, with a bench warrant. They also allegedly found drug paraphernalia in his pocket but his stash apparently eluded them.
• Sept. 4: At 10:48 a.m. police responded to the 700 block of Quintana on their daily pilgrimage into Dante’s Inferno where they nicked a 42-year-old mulish apparent ruffian for violating a domestic violence restraining order.
• Sept. 4: Police at 12:24 a.m. spotted a 38-year-old swizzle stick traipsing down the 800 block of MBB. The apparent train wreck was nicked for being drunk off her caboose.
• Sept. 3: Police responded to a pressing matter in the 400 block of Napa where a car hitched up to a trailer was partially blocking the driveway to a trailer park. The poor trailer’s registration expired back in the Bush Administration, some 16 years ago.
• Sept. 2: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 5:24 p.m. in the 1000 block of Main for some undisclosed code violation. Logs indicated the 39-year-old driver had three arrest warrants and a suspended license, nevertheless he was cited again and released.
• Sept. 2: Police responded at 11 p.m. to a disturbance in the 200 block of Dunes. Logs indicated a 46-year-old mother of the year was arrested for suspicion of child endangerment.
• Sept. 1: Police took a vandalism report at a senior facility on Teresa Drive.
• Sept. 1: At 2:11 p.m. police towed an offensive vehicle from the 900 block of Napa because the DMV was overdue its annual pound of flesh.
• Sept. 1: Some scoundrel stole the license plate off a vehicle in the 300 block of Fairview or maybe it fell off, who knows?
• Sept. 1: Police contacted a regular customer at 8:39 a.m. in the 200 block of Beach and cited her for being a no-show in court, a heck of a way to start the morning.
• Aug. 31: Someone in the 500 block of Harbor told police about illegal activity with a firearm by hooligans in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. A crime report for the criminal storage of a firearm: third degree, was begun.
• Aug. 30: Police responded at 4 p.m. to a disturbance in the 500 block of Harbor. Logs indicated they contacted a 40-year-old apparent Mamaluke going a little woolly-booger. The clown was tossed in the tank to sleep it off.
• Aug. 30: Someone turned in a cell phone they found somewhere in town.
• Aug. 30: Police took a late report of an alleged domestic violence case in the 2000 block of Seaview.
• Aug. 30: Police responded at 11 a.m. to the 1000 block of Front St., for an injured bicyclist report, which surprisingly doesn’t happen every day given the inattentive waterfront traffic.