Morro Bay Police Blotter 9-23-2021

• Sept. 5: Police responded at 4:39 p.m. to City Park on Harbor Street where some dingus was making a ruckus. A 63-year-old toddy-stricken fooliot was nicked for suspicion of contracting the bottle flu.
• Sept. 5: Police responded at 10 a.m. to the 700 block of Morro Bay Blvd., where someone had caught the glory train to Heaven.
• Sept. 4: Police responded at 2 a.m. to Ironwood and Atascadero Road where some blowhard was using a car horn “to harass the MBPD police chief,” no doubt just another satisfied customer.
• Sept. 4: Police contacted a regular customer at 9:36 p.m. in the 1400 block of Main. Logs indicated the 32-year-old scofflaw had a bench warrant and was issued a second, with a third to no doubt come soon.
• Sept. 4: Police responded to document a traffic collision at 9:36 p.m. in the 200 block of Harbor. Oddly enough for that hour and location, no one was nicked for being juiced.
• Sept. 4: Police contacted a suspicious man at 1:48 p.m. in the 1400 block of Main. The 35-year-old rapscallion had an arrest warrant but was cited and released with a no doubt sincere promise to appear, cross my heart…
• Sept. 4: Police towed away an offensive vehicle in the 100 block of Bayshore Dr., for not giving the DMV its annual pound of flesh.
• Sept. 4: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:09 a.m. at Main and Island. The driver, 31, was popped for suspicion of driving corked and was cited and released, presumably on foot.
• Sept. 3: Police responded at 8:30 p.m. to the 800 block of Quintana. Logs indicated a 51-year-old man was reportedly caught inside the fenced yard at Chuck’s Towing. Police arrested the sneaky fellow for suspicion of burglary and noted that he “failed to identify himself after being arrested,” which is why God invented fingerprints.
• Sept. 3: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 3:57 p.m. in the 700 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated the belle of the ball, 37, was hauled to the gulag for suspicion of being fizzucked on drugs, possession of drugs and two misdemeanor warrants, as this apparently isn’t her first ride on the carousel.
• Sept. 3: Police responded at 4:12 p.m. to Main and Pico where some maniac vandalized the rear window of an innocent car.
• Sept. 3: Police contacted a regular patron at 10:30 a.m. in the 100 block of Bayshore Dr. The man, 36, had two RSVPs from the judge and police made sure he kept his date with Lady Justice.
• Sept. 2: Police responded at 9:25 p.m. to Hwy 1 near Yerba Buena for a report of a car parked off the highway too close to a steep hillside. Police determined the car was abandoned plus another curious, minor detail — the registration expired in 2018 yet there were 2021 tags on the license plate. The car was impounded.
• Sept. 1: Police caught up to a suspicious chap at 7 p.m. in the 2600 block of Main. The Nodcock, 41, was arrested for suspicion of making criminal threats and being drunk and disorderly, which explains a whole lot.
• Sept. 1: Police responded at 2:30 p.m. to an accident somewhere on Atascadero Road east of town. No juicy details were available.
• Sept. 1: Some lucky citizen found a bunch of abandoned junk and a no doubt stolen bicycle in the 700 block of MBB. Police took possession of the cast away treasures.
• Sept. 1: Police responded at 7:22 a.m. to the 900 block of Piney Way where a citizen reported an undisclosed incident had occurred involving some kind of animal, because you should never bow before hyenas.
• Aug. 31: Police took a report of suspected child abuse in the 2600 block of Main and will forward the report to Child Welfare Services.
• Aug. 31: Police responded at 6:44 a.m. to a hit and run involving a pedestrian and a vehicle somewhere on South Quintana Road. Logs indicated the pedestrian was injured and police are hunting the driver.
• Aug. 31: Police paid an early morning visit to the 900 block of Piney Way where they located a 25-year-old apparent lady chimney fish who had a felony warrant. When officers checked her backpack they allegedly found a glass crack pipe with “residue” and an “uncapped needle and syringe.” She was injected into the County sober living resort.
• Aug. 31: Police contacted a suspicious fellow caught wandering around at 12:36 a.m. at Harbor and Morro. The 32-year-old fellow had an out-of-county warrant and was hauled to the gaol to await a ride home.