Morro Bay Police Logs
• Sept. 26: Police responded at 2 p.m. to the 300 block of Embarcadero where someone said his or her vehicle was stolen, a case of round up the usual suspects.
• Sept. 26: Police contacted a suspicious man at 12:30 p.m. in the 800 block of Front. Logs indicated the apparent skint, 51, had a warrant and got himself nicked.
• Sept. 26: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at Hwy 1 at San Jacinto. Logs indicated the 29-year-old woman driver was arrested for suspicion of driving on a toot at 6:03 a.m., as she was apparently out late and not up early.
• Sept. 26: Police responded at 6 a.m. to Bottle Liquor, 999 Main St. for a reported burglary. Police are investigating, and arrests are no doubt imminent.
• Sept. 26: Police responded at 12:15 a.m. to Atascadero and Ironwood where, according to logs, some church lady found a Bible in the middle of the road, no doubt left there by Satan.
• Sept. 25: Police responded at 10:21 p.m. to a disturbance in the 600 block of Main. A 48-year-old apparent skunk was arrested for suspicion of being stinky.
• Sept. 25: Police responded at 9 p.m. to the 2800 block of Alder for an apparent case of the naughties — a 17-year-old girl living with her 18-year-old boyfriend, a case of Romeo and Juliette, 21st Century style.
• Sept. 25: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 5:30 p.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero. The 25-year-old fugitive had a warrant from Kern County and was checked into the Parkinson Plaza, another case of arrive on vacation, leave on probation.
• Sept. 25: Police contacted a disturbing gent at 11:40 a.m. at the roundabout. Logs indicated the idjit, 36, was so drunk he couldn’t care for himself or others, but he apparently wasn’t too drunk to allegedly commit domestic battery and was also charged with that offense.
• Sept. 25: Police responded to a disturbance at 1:39 a.m. in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. A 23-year-old apparent snot waffle was nicked for suspicion of resisting arrest, obstructing an officer and being drunk, suffering intoxifornication.
• Sept. 25: Police responded to a disturbance at 12:11 a.m. in the 1100 block of Front. A 35-year-old tomato was nicked for allegedly being stewed.
• Sept. 24: Police responded to the 1700 block of Embarcadero where a teenage girl said some swamp donkey broke the rear driver’s side window out of her car but apparently didn’t find anything worth stealing.
• Sept. 24: Police responded to the 700 block of Morro Bay Blvd., where some disturbed fellow had a bell on every tooth. The 42-year old was arrested for suspicion of being drunk in public.
• Sept. 24: There was a car crash in the 800 block of Market. No juicy details were available.
• Sept. 24: Police responded at 5:14 p.m. to City Park where some raucous woman was having a bag lady moment. The 49-year old also had a couple of warrants and was hauled to the cooler to chill.
• Sept. 24: Police towed a trailered boat from the 300 block of Fairview for parking too long on the street, and without current registration, too.
• Sept. 22: Police took a report of a stolen vehicle in the 800 block of Quintana. Logs indicated the car was located, and “zee caze is sol-ved!”
• Sept. 22: Police responded to the 400 block of Trinidad for a reported case of arson. Logs indicated the report was unfounded, as the fire apparently started itself.
• Sept. 22: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 1:30 a.m. in the 900 block of MBB. The sneaky fellow, 29, had nine bench warrants and was arrested if you can believe it. Meanwhile, at virtually the same time at MBB and Harbor another apparent swagman, 34, was issued just his second citation and released.
• Sept. 21: Police responded to Albertsons Market at 8:35 p.m. for a reported shoplifter. Logs indicated a regular, known pilferer, who had been 86’d from the store, had come in, filled a basket with foodstuffs and tried to use the help-yourself line. A store employee confronted the brazen thief, who dropped the basket and fled. Good riddance, right? No, the sticky fingered gent had slipped on a new hoodie while in the store and fled with it on. A report was sent to the D.A. for probable inaction.
• Sept. 21: Someone tried to use a phony credit card at Albertsons Market.
• Sept. 21: Police contacted a wanted fellow, 35, in the 700 block of MBB and cited the ruffian for suspicion of battery.
• Sept. 20: Police responded to the 200 block of Main where some scalawag vandalized a boat.
• Sept. 20: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 3:12 p.m. at Dunes and Shasta. The 35-year-old driver was cited and released for a suspended license but his vehicle was impounded, which seems bass-ackwards.
• Sept. 20: Police stopped a suspicious car at 9:26 a.m. in the 2600 block of Main. The 40-year-old woman driver was cited and released for a suspended license and her car was impounded.
• Sept. 20: In an incident that wasn’t reported to police, a woman in North Morro Bay said she was taking her husband’s hard-won colon cancer test sample to be analyzed, placing the little bucket in a paper bag and walking it out to the car.
She went back inside the house for her sunglasses and when she returned, some master thief had stolen the bag, no doubt thinking he’d hit the jackpot, when in reality, “…they stole my husband’s defecation!!!!”
• Sept. 19: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 5:23 p.m. in the 900 block of Embarcadero who had a warrant. He was issued a second disappearance ticket and released.
• Sept. 18: Police contacted a familiar foe at 9 p.m. in City Park. The 47-year-old swagman was cited and released on a bench warrant, which seems a tad redundant don’t ya’ know?
• Sept. 17: Police responded at 7:50 p.m. to the 800 block of Piney Way where they actually arrested a 41-year-old fellow for suspicion of robbery, petty theft, and two bench warrants.
• Sept. 17: Police responded to a hit-n-split crash at 5:20 in the 800 block of Front. The alleged hitter and the hittee were both on scene and they exchange insurance information.
• Sept. 16: A citizen in the 2200 block of Emerald Circle said some scoundrel got into their unlocked car and pinched their booty.
• Sept. 15: Police responded at 5:19 p.m. to the 500 block of Quintana where some tore up fellow was raising a kerfuffle. The 29-year-old fooliot was nicked for suspicion of goin’ on the razzle.
• Sept. 14: Police contacted a suspicious fellow, 28, at 2 p.m. in the 1000 block of Las Tunas. He had two bench warrants and low and behold was actually taken to jail.
• Sept. 13: Police at the high school took a courtesy report regarding suspected child abuse that apparently happened in Los Osos.
• Sept. 13: A citizen in the 1100 block of Balboa said someone stole medications from their home, which sounds like an inside job.
• Sept. 13: Police took a burglary and vandalism report in the 200 block of Main. Logs indicated they have no leads as the scamboogah was apparently a master criminal.
• Sept. 13: Graffidiots apparently left their mark at Del Mar Elementary School. No word on what drivel was scribbled or if the vandalasses did more damage.
• Sept. 13: Someone stole a bicycle from a kid at the high school, ah hell, it’s time he got a car anyway.
• Sept. 12: Like a blast from the past a long-lost local yokel caught the eye of a cop at 11:38 a.m. on Hwy 1 at Morro Bay Boulevard and got pulled over. The 60-year-old fellow was busted for suspicion of felony reckless driving, resisting arrest, a suspended license and no doubt general nincompoopery, and hauled to the County re-education facility.
It was the repeat customer’s second go-round with police, as on Sept. 8 he was stopped at 11:25 a.m. at the Roundabout and cited for a suspended license and a bench warrant.
• Sept. 12: Police towed an offending vehicle in the 300 block of Jamaica for expired tags, as apparently the owner didn’t just steal tags off another car, which seems to be the fad these days.
• Sept. 11: A citizen in the 500 block of Elena reported getting annoying and harassing phone calls, which is why God made air horns.
• Sept. 11: Police responded to a disturbance at 8:12 a.m. in the 2600 block of Main. Logs indicated a 35-year-old stubborn fellow was violating a stay-the-hell-away-from-me court order and was hauled to the nick for some soul searching.
• Sept. 11: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:27 a.m. at Fairview and Ridgeway. The 70-year-old driver was arrested for suspicion of driving snookered.
• Sept. 10: Police responded at 8:06 p.m. to a disturbance at Main and Atascadero Road. A 29-year-old fellow was busted for suspicion of being waxed in public and possession of methamphetamine.
• Sept. 10: Police responded at 3 p.m. to the 2900 block of Cedar for a disturbance. A 69-year-old apparently bent gent got hauled to the gulag. At virtually the same time, at Coleman and Embarcadero another schwasted dude was causing a ruckus. That 29-year-old Mamaluke slept it off in the County’s no-star hotel.
• Sept. 9: A citizen came to the stationhouse with a suspicious letter that was left in his mailbox, by some no doubt phonus balonus.
• Sept. 9: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11:15 a.m. in the 1500 block of Main. A 31-year-old woman driver was cited for a suspended license and released.
• Sept. 8: Police were called at 4 p.m. to the area of Ironwood and Sequoia where some ruffian reportedly brandished a knife but apparently cut out before police arrived.
• Sept. 8: Police stopped a vehicle at 12:48 p.m. at Main and Errol. Logs indicated the 28-year-old driver had a suspended license and four failure-to-appear warrants, which pretty much is the definition of a scofflaw. He was cited and released, no doubt part of the new job security program.
• Sept. 7: Police responded at 11 p.m. to the 1700 block of Embarcadero where apparently the Morro Creek Bridge jumped in front of a car driven by a 62-year-old fellow. He was arrested for suspicion of driving blindo. The bridge was inspected by the City and no damage was found.
• Sept. 7: Police responded to a fender-bender at 4 p.m. at Harbor and Market, which is a blind corner going uphill. No injuries to report.
• Sept. 7: Someone broke into a parked car in the 500 block of Main and stole some undisclosed treasures.
• Sept. 7: A citizen in the 300 block of Quintana reported vandalism and police forwarded a crime report to the D.A., so maybe this nodcock won’t get away with it.
• Sept. 6: Police responded at 8 p.m. to a disturbance in the 800 block of Pacific. Logs indicated a 49-year-old man was arrested for violating a domestic stay-away order, a case of some guys never learn.
• Aug. 30: Police responded at 2 p.m. to an un-neighborly dispute in the 1200 block of Clarabelle. Logs said the caller told them a neighbor trespassed onto their property “to cut down bushes/trees,” a hanging offense in this town. According to logs, the misbegotten knave was arrested.
• Sept. 6: Police responded at 4:25 p.m. to a domestic disturbance in the 200 block of Main. Logs indicated a man, 48, and woman, 31, were both arrested for suspicion of battery, however, while she was nicked, he was cited and released because the County Jail would not accept the apparent malcontent.
• Sept. 6: Police towed a car from Panorama and Whidbey for violating 11th Commandment — Thou shalt not park in one place too long.
• Sept. 6: Police responded at 11:30 a.m. to an assault report in the 3000 block of Beachcomber Dr. They took an incident report, as apparently no blood was spilt.
• Sept. 6: Police responded at 7:20 a.m. to the 400 block of Trinidad where they sought out a 39-year-old scofflaw who had a warrant. He was given his second and released to no doubt go back to bed.