• Jan. 8: Police responded to a disturbance at 8:19 p.m. in the 300 block of Dunbar where they placed an upset citizen in timeout with County Mental Health.
• Jan. 8: Police responded to a reported case of fraud in the 800 block of Main. The loss was a painful $3,000 no doubt making for an ugly day at the Ugly Mug Ceramics shop.
• Jan. 8: Police responded at 1 p.m. to the 1000 block of Front St., where an apparently randy large dog jumped onto a smaller dog, which apparently upset the little one’s owner, who reportedly was injured when he or she tripped and fell. Both dogs were reportedly on a leash.
• Jan. 8: Police recovered a vehicle at 12:30 p.m. in the parking lot at Burger King that was reported stolen, no doubt saving the owner a whopper of a headache.
• Jan. 8: Someone turned in to police a cell phone they reportedly found on the trail at Harmony Headlands State Park.
• Jan. 8: Police responded at 8:21 a.m. to the Morro Bay Chevron station in the 1700 block of Main, where a 72-year-old store clerk said he was assaulted.
• Jan. 9: At 2 a.m. police contacted a suspicious fellow in the 700 block of Embarcadero. The 41-year-old swagman had a warrant and was hauled to the hoosegow.
• Jan. 7: Police responded to a business in the 1500 block of Main where a citizen said some felonious scoundrel had forged a stolen a check and cashed it for $4,200.
• Jan. 7: Police responded to a traffic collision at 2:45 p.m. at Quintana and Morro Bay Boulevard, as the roundabout claims two more.
• Jan. 7: Police responded at 1:17 p.m. to a reported assault in a business in the 300 block of Morro Bay Blvd. According to logs, a 58-year-old man threatened the store clerk at Megan’s Organic Market, a CBD retail store. The apparently crankypated fellow was arrested and maybe next time he should shop the pot store down the street to enhance his calm.
• Jan. 7: Police responded to a domestic disturbance at 11:30 a.m. in the 700 block of Butte. Logs indicated a 31-year-old ruffian was arrested for suspicion of domestic violence with injury and of course a bench warrant.
• Jan. 6: A citizen in the 500 block of Embarcadero reported his or her catalytic converter got snatched off their vehicle.
• Jan. 6: Police responded at 2:07 p.m. to a disturbance in the 600 block of Quintana. Logs indicated a 36-year-old bent hombre was nicked for suspicion of being fit-shaced in public.
• Jan. 6: At 12:11 p.m. police espied a familiar foe at City Park on Harbor Street. The 59-year-old belle of the ball had five bench warrants. She was issued a sixth disappearance ticket and released.
• Jan. 6: At 8:23 a.m. in the 700 block of Quintana police contacted another scofflaw fellow, 58, who had three bench warrants. He too was issued a fourth piece of makeshift TP and released.
Jan. 6: A burglary was reported at a business in the 800 block of Quintana at 7:51 a.m. Police have no clues in the case.
• Jan. 5: Two citizen in the Downtown area reported catalytic converters stolen off their vehicles. The cases were in the 500 block of Dunes and the 1100 block of Monterey.
• Jan. 3: Police tried to pull over a suspicious vehicle at 11:45 p.m. at Main and Surf for some undisclosed equipment violation, but the driver reportedly failed to yield.
• Jan. 3: Police responded at 5:15 p.m. to a disturbance in the 600 block of Harbor. They arrested a 36-year-old raucous hombre for suspicion of getting stupid in public.
• Jan. 2: Police contacted a familiar face at 2:22 p.m. at Main and Driftwood. The 21-year-old scofflaw had a bench warrant and was also allegedly in possession of suspected illegal drugs and yet was cited and released to no doubt go re-up his stash.
• Jan. 1: Someone reported a case of suspected alleged child abuse at some undisclosed location committed by some unidentified scamboogah.
• Jan. 1: Someone turned in a license plate they’d found in the 800 block of Morro Ave., leaving police to find the poor fellow before he descends into Hell — the DMV.
• Jan. 1: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at the suspect time of 12:39 a.m. — on New Year’s no less — and cited the 21-year-old rookie for suspicion of driving FUBAR and earning the distinction of being the first DUI of 2022, but probably not the last.
• Dec. 31: Someone found something somewhere near Coleman Beach and police will do something with it.
• Dec. 30: Police responded to a reported domestic dispute at the Inn at Morro Bay on State Park Road. Logs indicated they arrested a 19-year-old apparent hellcat on suspicion of domestic violence.
• Dec. 30: Police responded to a disturbance at 4 p.m. in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated an apparent crankypated person was taken in for a 72-hour mental health timeout.
• Dec. 29: Police responded at 12:46 p.m. to a disturbance in the 400 block of Quintana. Logs indicated a 40-year-old woman was nicked for suspicion of being bent in public and possession of a suspected can of toluene, which logs described as “dust remover spray” and was checked into the Parkinson Plaza — no doubt dust free. It was her second trip to the gaol in as many days, as on Dec. 27 at noon in the 700 block of Quintana she was nicked for the same two charges, as toluene spray is a hot commodity these days.
• Dec. 29: At 11:35 a.m. police detained a 47-year-old man on Hwy 1 for allegedly spray painting graffiti on the Morro Bay Boulevard overpass and thus defacing Caltrans’ property. The graffidiot also had out-of-county arrest warrants on various drugs charges and so was booked into the hoosegow.
• Dec. 28: A citizen in the 900 block of Pecho is a bit lighter in the wallet, after they reported losing $700.
• Dec. 27: Police responded at 10 a.m. to the Embarcadero Inn at 456 Embarcadero for a reported theft. According to logs, a 21-year-old sticky-fingered woman walked into the motel’s laundry and stole an employee’s purse. The alleged thief was nicked and sent to the pokey where according to logs, she was later found in possession of suspected methamphetamine, which she’d apparently hidden where the sun don’t shine and the cops won’t search until she hit the lockup. A charge of allegedly bringing a controlled substance into a jail was added to her list of woes.