Police Blotter 8-26-2021

• Aug. 15: Police contacted a 52-year-old woman at 7:45 p.m. somewhere in town and nailed the scofflaw for a warrant, and low and behold, they actually took her to jail, will wonders never cease.
• Aug. 15: Police responded at 4:30 p.m. to the 1100 block of Main for a no doubt hairy car crack-up, though no injuries were reported.
• Aug. 15: Police contacted a 35-year-old fellow at 3:37 p.m. in the 400 block of Surf. The apparent spike, 35, was cited for alleged possession of drug paraphernalia.
• Aug. 15: Police spied another citizen of the year with a bench warrant at 2:22 p.m. in the 1700 block of Embarcadero. The froggy lass, 45, was issued another disappearance ticket and loosed back upon the world.
• Aug. 15: Police responded at 1 p.m. to the 700 block of Piney Way where a citizen told them they’d been robbed of something worth less than $950, as it was a misdemeanor. And a task force will no doubt be formed to find the fiend.
• Aug. 15: At 1 a.m. police saw a car at Main and Atascadero Road make a wide left turn and then speed off weaving down the road. Naturally, they pulled the car over and a 47-year-old hombre was arrested for allegedly being half cut at the wheel.
• Aug. 15: Police responded at 4:13 p.m. to a disturbance report in the 400 block of Hillview. A 45-year-old woman was arrested for suspicion of domestic battery.
• Aug. 14: Police responded at 2:30 p.m. to a disturbance in the 400 block of Trinidad. Logs indicated a 62-year-old upset fellow was taken to the hospital for a little timeout.
• Aug. 14: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:18 a.m. at Main and South. Logs indicated the driver, 48, was tossed to the nick for suspicion of driving deep in his cups.
• Aug. 13: Police responded to a hit-n-split at 8:15 p.m. at Olive and Fresno. Police filed a report with the district attorney’s office for likely inaction.
• Aug. 13: Police responded to a report of a disturbance at 6:24 p.m. in the 1200 block of Embarcadero. Logs indicated an allegedly spifficated woman, 70, was arrested.
• Aug. 12: Police contacted a suspicious man at 1:45 p.m. in the 1700 block of Main. The 39-year-old skipjack had a warrant and was given another citation in advance of the next one and the five more he’ll probably get after that.
• Aug. 11: Police responded at 8:11 p.m. to a fight reported in the 800 block of Embarcadero. A 56-year-old model citizen was arrested for suspicion of assault.
• Aug. 11: Police responded at 8:46 a.m. to the 1700 block of Embarcadero for a report of a stolen disabled car placard and handicap scooter, for which there’s a special place in hell for the responsible nodcock.
• Aug. 11: Police responded at 1 a.m. to the 2600 block of Main where a known fellow, 32, reportedly assaulted someone and then made like a tree and leafed.
• Aug. 10: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:22 p.m. at Main and Surf. The driver, 32, had a suspended license and was cited and released to catch again next week.
• Aug. 10: A citizen in the 2600 block of Main said his or her cell phone was stolen, and their life is no doubt over now.
• Aug. 6: Someone turned in a Kentucky State identification they’d found.
• Aug. 10: Police responded to a traffic collision at 12:39 p.m. at Hwy 1 at San Jacinto. A woman driver, 59, was cited at the scene for allegedly being smashed like her car.
• Aug. 10: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 6:51 a.m. at Las Tunas and La Loma. The man, 23, was arrested for suspicion of resisting arrest, threatening a police officer and making terrorist threats, and, of course, parole violation.
• Aug. 9: Police caught up to another scofflaw with a warrant at 9:20 p.m. at Morro Bay Boulevard and Bernardo. He was issued another summons that he’ll no doubt ignore.
• Aug. 8: Police responded at 12:08 a.m. to a disorderly knucklehead causing a ruckus at Harbor and Monterey. The 35-year-old sponge was arrested for being soaked.
• Aug. 8: Police responded at 12:46 p.m. to Legend’s Tavern at Main and Harbor where a woman, 28, and man, 30, got into a fight over a pizza pie and wound up in the clink for suspicion of being pie-eyed in public.
• Aug. Police responded at 8:30 p.m. to yet another disturbance this time in the 800 block of Main. A 40-year-old fellow was sent to the gulag for suspicion of being zooted in public.
• Aug. 7: A citizen turned in a Garmin watch they’d found somewhere by the high school. Garmin watches are designed for cyclists, which could be a hint as to who lost it.
• Aug. 7: Police responded at 1:15 p.m. to the 700 block of Alta Ct., where they encountered a man with a warrant out of Tulare County. He got a SLO County summons, which will no doubt be caught when he’s back in Tulare, and the wheels on the bus go round and round…
• Aug. 7: A citizen in the 400 block of Luzon reported mail theft. Then a business in the 700 block of Quintana took in some funny money, as the crime wave continues.
• Aug: 7: Police contacted a suspicious fellow at 8:50 a.m. in the 200 block of Main. The man, 24, had a felony warrant from Orange County and actually got taken to SLO County Jail.
• Aug. 5: Police responded at 3 p.m. to Morro Rock for a reported fight. A 48-year-old ruffian was cited for suspicion of battery.
• Aug. 4: Police contacted a pair of employees of the month at 4:30 p.m. in the 600 block of Quintana. A 46-year-old fellow had a warrant and was cited and release; and a 50-year-old dude got cited for alleged possession of a glass crack pipe.
• Aug. 4: Police responded at noon to the 600 block of Bernardo where they cited a 19-year-old apparent interloper for suspicion of trespassing, a life sentence if you’re at the Capitol.
• Aug. 4: A 61-year-old man asked police to hang on to his Katana (Samurai) sword for safekeeping, from what or who, logs didn’t say.
• Aug. 4: Police contacted a familiar fellow, 52, at 4:15 a.m. in the 800 block of Napa. He was cited and released on a bench warrant for being stoned in public. They returned at 5:06 a.m. to the same block where a citizen said his or her bicycle was stolen. No word on if the two cases are connected, but that’s the way to bet.
• Aug. 3: Police towed away a car in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd., for blocking the road.
• Aug. 3: Someone found a blue, boy’s mountain bike in the 3000 block of Main and police are riding it around now.
• Aug. 3: Police contacted a suspicious woman at 9:12 a.m. in the 900 block of Piney Way. The 25-year-old brat was cited and released for two bench warrants.
• Aug. 2: Police contacted a swizzle stick wafting along in the 800 block of Market at 6:18 p.m. The 49-year-old suffered intoxifornication and was booked into County Jail.
• Aug. 2: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 3:49 p.m. at Main and Quintana. The 41-year-old driver was cited and released for a suspended license but his innocent car was arrested and hauled off to impound, now where’s the justice in that?