Morro Bay Police Logs

• April 24: Police warily stopped a suspicious vehicle at the highly suspect time of 1:19 a.m. in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. The driver, 40, had a suspended license and was cited and released, presumably on foot.
• April 23: Police are investigating a lunacy of larceny in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd.
• April 23: Police in the 200 block of Beach contacted the same woman numerous times who was acting suspiciously. At 11:12 a.m. they decided she needed mental health treatment.
• April 23: At 8:55 a.m. police contacted a familiar female, 34, who had an arrest warrant. The scofflaw was thrown into the gulag.
• April 22: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 11 p.m. headin’ out of town in the 800 block of Atascadero Rd. The driver, 36, was arrested for suspicion of driving spanked, and got taken downtown, where a sober friend picked him up.
• April 22: Some anarchist vandalized Giovanni’s Fish Market, 1001 Front St.
• April 22: Some thievin’ bilge rat stole power tools out of a working man’s truck in the 800 block of Embarcadero. Police have no leads, as the snake no doubt slithered away.
• April 21: A citizen in the 300 block of Main reported getting terrorist threats. A report was sent to the D.A.
• April 21: Police responded at 3:47 a.m. to Highway 41 Antiques Mall, 540 Atascadero Rd., for an apparent burglar alarm. Logs indicated the master criminals didn’t get inside but did vandalize the building in the attempt.
• April 20: At 3:19 p.m. in the 1700 block of Main police came across a pair of regular customers — a man and woman both 45 — who each had two bench warrants. They were given their future third warrant and released to go about their scofflaw way.
• April 20: Someone got into two locked storage units in the 1000 block of Quintana Rd. No word on the lost treasures taken.
• April 19: Someone reported a case of credit card fraud in the 400 block of Atascadero Rd.
• April 19: Police took a missing person report in the 700 block of Quintana. No word on if he, she, they/them or it had returned.
• April 19: At 8:55 a.m. police recovered a stolen car abandoned at South Bay and State Park Road. The responsible rapscallion apparently got away.
• April 18: Police contacted some night owl out hootin’ around at 2:14 a.m. at Motel 6 in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd. Logs indicated the 46-year-old screecher was arrested for suspicion of getting boorishly bombed in public.
• April 17: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 10:24 p.m. at Beach and Main. The driver, 50, got nicked for suspicion of being half cut at the wheel, and on a suspended license no less!
• April 17: Police responded to a missing person call in the 200 block of Easter but the missing was apparently resurrected or at least returned home.
• April 17: Police towed abandoned vehicles from the 1000 and 1100 blocks of Monterey for expired tags, a potential death sentence no one will protest.
• April 17: Police were called at 2:15 a.m. to Motel 6 in the 200 block of Atascadero Rd., for some woman apparently having a bag lady moment. The howler, 33, was nicked for suspicion of being tanked in public, which explains a lot.
• April 17: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 12:17 a.m. somewhere on Main. The driver, 33, was hauled to the gaol for suspicion of driving full as a tick.
• April 16: The door revolved once more for a regular customer police came across at 9:30 p.m. on Morro Bay Boulevard at Napa. The scofflaw, 46, had a bench warrant and was issued his next one and released.
• April 16: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8 p.m. at Main and Kern. The 24-year-old borracho was arrested for suspicion of driving drunk and taken in for arrestitution.
• April 16: Some apparent graffidiot left his mark in the 3100 block of Main. Police made note of it.
• April 15: Police responded to a suspicious subject lurking around at 9:30 p.m. in the 500 block of Atascadero Rd. A 36-year-old Mamaluke was arrested for suspicion of prowling and being high on illegal stimulants. He crashed in the County sober living facility.
• April 15: Police responded at 9:45 a.m. to a business in the 800 block of Shasta for a bungled burglary report.
• April 14: Police were called at 2:10 p.m. to Coleman Drive for a reported case of animal cruelty. A crime report was filed with the district attorney.
• April 14: Police responded at 1 p.m. to the 2800 block of Alder where a local resident left paradise for Heaven.
• April 13: Police stopped a suspicious vehicle at 8:18 p.m. in the 900 block of Morro Bay Blvd. Logs indicated the driver, 33, got nicked for suspicion of driving kootered but she was spared a trip to the hoosegow and was mercifully cited and released to a sober friend.
• April 13: Police took a report for petty theft in the 400 block of Errol. No word on what treasure was pilfered.
• April 12: Police responded to the 300 block of Kodiak for a theft report. Some scalawag broke into a locked storage unit. No word whether the victim remembers what was stored there.
• April 12: At 11:40 a.m. police discovered a small, plastic, baggie presumably on the ground in the 1300 block of Main. Police thought it was methamphetamine and booked it for flushing.